How To Pickup Girls Without Being Creepy
She’s your definition of a perfect 10. And she’s standing there right in front of you.
You approach her and say, “Hey, I just had to say you’re really cute.”
She rolls her eyes and replies, “Don’t talk to me, creep.”
You apologize, “I didn’t mean to be too forward or anything.”
She cuts you off, “My boyfriend is a few feet away, and he’ll kick your ass if you keep talking to me.”
This is the nightmare scenario that runs through our heads when we think about picking up that hot girl we see walking by.
When I was a teenager, I was terrified of creeping a girl out or getting in a fight.
But now I know how ridiculous my thoughts were.
I’ve approached thousands of women without getting into a single fight (knock on wood).
And the majority of women I approach are flattered even if they’re unavailable or uninterested.
I often hear, “Thanks for approaching me; you made my day. I wish more guys would do that.”
I rarely hear, “Go away, you’re creepy.”
Plus, I go on multiple dates per week with random girls I approach. Clearly, a lot of women are interested in meeting new guys or that wouldn’t happen.
Learning how to pickup girls can be a great experience for you and the women you approach.
However, it is possible to be creepy in a way that puts off the girls you meet. And if you don’t have a strategy for picking up women, you’re likely to have many interactions that go nowhere fast.
Like it or not, seduction is a skill. There is strategy involved, and if you engage women in the right way, you’ll consistently spark attraction within seconds.
We like to think of emotions as these ethereal random things that happen to us. But this is a romanticization that takes away our ability to create the experience we want.
In this article, I’m going to teach you how to intentionally create attraction and intrigue in the women you meet so that picking up girls becomes a predictable process for you.
Of course, every woman is different. You won’t have natural chemistry with everyone. However, you can display attractive traits that the vast majority of girls will be receptive to. If you do this right, whenever you meet someone who is a good match for you, the spark of attraction will be intense.
This guide is about cold approach pickup, so let’s start with the initial meeting.
Making A Strong First Impression
You can make a girl think, “Who is this guy? There’s something intriguing about him,” within a few seconds of meeting her.
Most men are hesitant; they’re afraid of making their intentions clear. We learn to act this way because we think hitting on girls is creepy, and we want to be nice.
Ironically, hesitance is what’s creepy.
When a woman can’t sense what you want and who you really are, she becomes uncomfortable. It’s much more attractive to let a girl know exactly what you want.
On one level, this is about what you say.
It can be more effective to straight-up tell a girl you think she’s stunning and you want to meet her than to act like you’re just asking for directions.
Women have a desire to be desired, and a direct approach can turn a woman on.
Being forward can work, and if you seem confident enough, it can be irresistibly seductive.
However, it is possible to come across as pushy, so you want to show that you’re unsure whether you like the girl you’re talking to.
You can do this by teasing her, by saying something like, “I wanted to see if you’re as interesting as you look.” You can also suggest, “You’re not my usual type, but there’s something about you I find intriguing.” You could even suggest, “I get the sense you might make a good friend.”
The underlying principle is you’re implying you might not be interested in her. You’ve shown interest, but you’re making it clear that you’re still on the fence.
With that said, I often pick up women without stating my interest at all. I don’t say I find the girl attractive; I show her with the way I look at her and carry myself.
If you’re uncomfortable with telling a girl you think she’s cute, it’s helpful to practice direct approaches to get confident with shooting your shot. However, at some point, you’ll want to learn how to create attraction with the way you carry yourself.
Subtly Creating Attraction
Once you’re comfortable with clearly stating your intentions, you can then get away with a subtler approach.
Instead of verbally telling a girl you like her, you can make her feel chemistry nonverbally.
More than anything, this happens through the eyes. When you look at a girl with a feeling of desire, you can create an intoxicating amount of sexual tension.
I’ve had multiple instances when women I just met literally brought up the idea of having sex with me just because of the way I looked at them.
This isn’t just about holding steady eye contact; it’s also about the feeling you’re projecting. When you’re looking at a girl, focus on how sexy she is, how much you want her.
Let yourself feel desire.
When you genuinely experience that emotion, it will spread (just like laughter or yawning).
If the girl is completely closed to the possibility of hooking up with you, she will likely mention she has a boyfriend or not hold eye contact with you at all.
But if she is open to the possibility, she will feel butterflies in her stomach. This is how you intentionally create the feeling of having a “spark.”
Eye contact isn’t the only way to build attraction nonverbally; your voice, body language, and facial expressions all play a role as well.
However, the one thing that has the most impact is eye contact, so it’s best to start by focusing on that.
What To Say
Of course, picking up girls involves talking to them.
Frustratingly, it can feel like it’s impossible to think of something interesting enough to tell a woman.
I could give you a script to memorize that would have everything you need to pickup girls. If you practiced the script, it would even be pretty effective.
However, it wouldn’t be fun, and you wouldn’t make a deep connection with women because you’d essentially be acting.
Some coaches teach elaborate collections of stories and lines to tell girls.
But learning all that takes an incredible amount of effort, and it takes the soul out of meeting women.
Besides, the best conversations tend to be improvised. Any time you’ve made a great joke, it probably came out of nowhere. You didn’t plan it; you just thought of something witty in the moment.
Whenever strangers make a deep connection, it’s not based on a script; they organically associate off of each other.
Having some techniques here and there is helpful. But by and large, the best conversations aren’t planned out.
And you already know how to have a great conversation. I’m sure you’ve had them with friends or other people when you were completely comfortable.
But with a hot girl, it feels different. It’s not because you need to say different things; it’s because of the pressure.
When talking to someone you like, there’s performance anxiety – what if that thing you wanted to say wasn’t good enough?
The key to keeping conversations going with women is to take the pressure off of yourself and allow your thoughts to flow.
Realistically, this won’t be easy at first. You may freeze up and not be able to think of something.
Whenever this happens, the best thing to do is admit it. Tell the girl something like, “Normally, I can think of something interesting to say, but you’re so cute that it’s hard to think straight.”
Being vulnerable like that takes the pressure off of yourself and in many cases will turn the interaction around. Sometimes it won’t work, but that’s your best option.
Overall though, the key is practice. If you talk to 20 girls over the course of a night, it will become progressively easier to think of things to say. The pressure to perform reduces the more you put yourself out there.
Don’t worry if you have trouble thinking of things to say; this will naturally get easier with practice. Expect your conversations might be choppy at first, but if you approach many women, you will get comfortable with the process.
Turning Approaches Into Dates
We’ve covered how to approach girls initially, how to spark attraction, and how to keep the interactions going. But how do you turn your approaches into actual results?
Assuming you’ve built attraction, the next step is to find out if the girl is available to hang out right then and there. Getting a number is great, but it’s much better to make something happen in the moment whenever possible.
So, if you’re meeting a girl during the day, ask her what she’s up to. If she’s busy doing something, suggest that you and her hang out later and get her number.
However, if she is available, invite her to get a smoothie or a cup of coffee with you.
Or you can simply invite her to find a place to sit down with you for a minute.
The idea is to have a date with her right then and there.
During that date, get to know her, and eventually, come up with an offer to go back to your place (or hers).
A few good examples are to smoke, have a drink together, share a hookah, watch a TV show together, or play a game(connect four, battleship).
The ideal way to bring the activity up is to do so before you actually invite her.
For instance, you can bring up a particular show you like and ask if she has seen it.
If she hasn’t, suggest that you should watch an episode together sometime.
Similarly, you could ask a girl if she smokes, and if she says she does, you can suggest that you should smoke together sometime.
Then, roughly 10 to 30 minutes later in the conversation, invite her to join you for whatever activity you mentioned earlier.
This is known as seeding the pull, and it’s based on a psychological principle known as pre-suasion, which states people are more likely to say yes to an idea they’ve already been previously exposed to.
Unsurprisingly, some girls won’t be willing to go home with you in such a short amount of time after meeting you.
That’s fine, don’t act upset about it. When this happens, simply ask for her number and make plans to hang out again in the future.
If you’re consistently getting rejected when you go for the pull, the most likely explanation is you’re just not creating enough sexual tension – she doesn’t feel a sense of emotional desire when around you.
This means you should focus on the previous advice about eye contact and intent.
Generally, as you go out and try this, you’ll be surprised how often women you just met will be down to go on an adventure with you and even hook up with you.
Of course, this short article doesn’t have every strategy you might want to know about how to pickup girls, but this was a good primer on the basics to start with.
Over time, you will want to learn more about how to be charismatic, how to physically escalate smoothly, how to deal with groups of women, and how to make the whole process of meeting women fun.
But the most important thing to start with is the initial approach and creating the spark of attraction. If you want a complete guide to picking up women, check out my full-length book: https://gumroad.com/l/thecompletemethod
And if you want more helpful guides, check out my YouTube channel, which has hidden camera footage of myself approaching women:
Follow me on Snapchat to see daily infield footage (approaches, makeouts, pulls) Username: AveryGHayden
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