How To Meet Girls In A Post-Covid World
The smoke is clearing. Life is returning to normal.
You can even see the bottom half of people’s faces now.
You probably thought you’d be ready to start dating again.
But you’ve found that a year of couch sitting and porn bingeing has created enormous inertia.
You want to go out and approach women; however, if you’re like most men, your dating life has entered a state of paralysis thanks to a year of quarantine.
Luckily, I can help you change that. I’m going to give you a foolproof plan for creating a great dating life after covid.
Step 1: Lower Your Expectations
(If you’ve approached any women within the last month, you can skip this section).
Imagine you went an entire year without working out a single time.
One day, you look in the mirror and see that where there used to be muscle, there’s flab.
You get pissed off and decide to hit the gym.
As you arrive, you remember you used to be able to bench 250 pounds. So, you decide to stack on the weights and get back to work.
You lay on the bench and press with all your might.
But the weights don’t budge.
In the last year, you’ve lost a lot of strength.
It’s not fair to expect yourself to be able to lift what you could a year earlier when you were actively training.
The same principle applies to dating. It’s just subtler.
Approaching women takes willpower, and whether you want to admit it or not, we all experience some degree of anxiety when we face the possibility of rejection.
The idea of walking up to an attractive stranger and asking her on a date is stressful if you haven’t done it in a long time.
Treat going out and meeting women the same way you would treat working out at the gym: if it’s your first time doing it in months, start small and build up from there.
You may not be able to approach a single girl the first time you go out after the quarantine.
This is okay; just lower your standards for success to something you can build on.
Understand: if you have unrealistic expectations, you’ll go out, try to approach, fail, and go home feeling defeated.
This is the single most common reason men fail when trying to learn cold approach.
Instead, start with a goal to simply go out somewhere women congregate (a bar, a busy park, a mall, a beach, a nightclub).
You don’t even have to approach a single girl. You just have to go out with the intention of approaching and walk around.
As soon as you leave the house, you’ve made progress.
Most men never approach women unless they’re drunk at a bar. You’re doing something challenging; it’s okay to take it one step at a time.
With that said, while you’re out, your intention is to talk to women.
If you see a girl but you feel too much resistance to walk up to her, lower your goal to just compliment her as you walk by.
You can say, “I like your hairstyle,” “I like your shirt,” or, “I like your shoes.” If you can’t think of anything specific to compliment, you can just say, “Good afternoon.”
You don’t have to stop and talk to the girl further, and you don’t have to get her number.
Your first goal is just to open your mouth and say something as you walk by.
This may sound strange, but it’s based on scientific research into a concept known as gradual exposure.
Exposure therapy is a way of defeating anxiety by facing your fears head-on. Social anxiety makes approaching women feel like a big deal. We get the sense that something terrible might happen if we talk to a stranger: we might get laughed at, her boyfriend might attack us, or something similar.
But when you expose yourself to situations that trigger social anxiety, your feelings will be proven wrong: nothing bad will happen.
As a result, the anxiety dissipates because it no longer makes sense.
However, if you face your anxiety too aggressively, it can become overwhelming. Gradually exposing yourself to social anxiety is more effective.
Regarding approaching women, the best way to do this is to start by going to a public place where women congregate.
Then, you can use the momentum you’ve built to push yourself to say hello to women as you walk by.
The next step is to approach a girl and commit to keep the conversation going. You can start by complimenting her, “I like your (dress, style),” or you can say something like, “Hey, you look intriguing so I wanted to say hi,” and then you can follow up by asking a basic question such as:
“Are you from here?”
“What do you do for a living?”
“What are you up to right now?”
These questions aren’t the most exciting way to start a conversation, but they’re easy to remember and apply to any situation.
If you can think of something more compelling to say on the spot, you don’t need to ask any basic questions, but they’re helpful as a contingency plan.
Once you’ve reached a point where you can start a conversation with a girl and keep it going for a few minutes, you’ll want to start asking for girl’s numbers.
When you’re new to approaching women, the best way to start getting numbers is to simply say something along the lines of, “Hey, it’s been cool talking to you. Would you like to get coffee sometime?”
Later on, you can ask for numbers in a way that will get you fewer flakes (I explain how to do this in my book, The Method). But for now, it’s best to keep it simple.
How To Meet Girls In A Post-Covid World
Step 2: Set Realistic Goals
Once you’ve reached a point where you can approach women and ask for their numbers, consistency is the key to improving your results over time.
In general, the more action you take, the faster you’ll make progress.
I can’t give a one-size-fits-all strategy because everyone has a different life situation.
However, I can give you guidelines for what you need to do to make significant progress.
If you want to get solid results from pickup, you should aim to go out at least four times per week.
That may sound a lot, but each session doesn’t need to be a four-hour marathon. On some days, you can go out for just 15-30 minutes.
The more often you go out and approach women, the more momentum you will build.
Momentum is basically a feeling where you start looking forward to going out and approaching women. The more momentum you have, the less approach anxiety you’ll experience and the more confident you’ll feel when talking to girls.
Ideally, you’ll go out for 2 hours or more a couple of times per week (usually this will be on the weekend). Longer game sessions are where you’ll get the most results. In one night out, you can easily get ten girl’s numbers or more.
It will also help to decide on which days you’ll go out to meet women in advance.
Instead of generically committing to go out four days per week, determine which specific days you want to go out. If possible, keep the days consistent so that it becomes a habit.
You can also take this a step further by setting a specific time for going out (perhaps on the way home from work on some days or 11 PM on Friday and Saturday night.)
Additionally, you should keep track of key metrics and set increasing goals over time. This is to make sure that your results consistently improve.
To start, I recommend keeping track of how many women you’re approaching each week and how many numbers (or Instagrams/Snapchats/Etc) you’re getting.
After the first week is done, you can set a goal for your next week that is slightly higher.
If you do this repeatedly, you’ll reach a point where you’re consistently getting ten or more girl’s numbers each week.
At that point, good results are inevitable.
I highly recommend keeping track of your goals in some way.
I keep a journal on Google docs where I write down my weekly goals and record my progress each day.
It looks like this:
Week of: 2/22 – 2/28
Total approaches this week: 15
Total Numbers this week: 3
Total approaches this week: 22
Total Numbers this week: 5
This all may sound much too technical. I understand the feeling; why should romance be so goal-oriented?
Simply put: this is what works.
I’ve personally coached hundreds of guys who wanted to improve their dating lives, and usually, the biggest hurdle they face is that they’re not taking consistent action.
Men tend to think it’s their height, looks, lack of money, or something else that’s holding them back.
Yet when I ask them, most of those men haven’t approached a single woman in the last year. And the few that have rarely approached more than a handful of girls.
Yes, I advocate working on becoming more charismatic, improving your physique and fashion, etc. However, the foundation that game is built on is the number of shots you’re taking.
If you take a lot of action, the results will start to come, and your skills will develop much faster than if you spend all your time consuming content or waiting until you get rich to start talking to girls.
How To Meet Girls In A Post-Covid World
Once you’re consistently approaching women, the next key to improving your results is to focus on technique.
The better your technique, the greater your rate of success will be.
With that said, even poor technique will lead to results with enough volume.
I’ve had many clients take bootcamps with me who were below average looking, shy, and awkward but who managed to sleep with beautiful women during the program.
However, your rate of success will drastically improve when your fundamentals are solid.
The core techniques to focus on are:
- Eye contact (intense, sexual eye contact can build attraction entirely on its own).
- Vocal tonality (the way you use your voice can drastically alter the way women perceive you).
- Verbal game (being able to think of clever things to say and to make a deep connection within minutes is invaluable)
- Creating Tension (the ability to know when to escalate and when to pull back, when to tease and when to compliment, etc. There’s a sweet spot you want to hit where you make women feel strong emotions in your presence without being overwhelming or intimidating).
I’m not going to into great detail about all these topics in one article, but if you want to learn more about how to improve your game technique, check out my full-length book, The Method.
The most crucial lesson you should take from this article is that you must take consistent action to get any results from pickup.
The best way to do this is to start small and build up your goals over time. And sticking with goals is easier said than done; keeping track of your progress in some way is massively helpful.
There’s a quote by psychologists Chip and Dan Heath, “We are all loophole exploiting lawyers when it comes to our self-control.”
When we lack specific, measurable goals, we tend to do whatever our emotions drive us towards, which is almost always the easy way out.
Getting results from pickup involves embracing some stress at first; you must get out of your comfort zone.
If you don’t set specific goals, chances are, you will mentally masturbate to the idea that someday you will reach a point where you’re “ready” to start meeting women. But you won’t get any tangible results because you’re not taking tangible action.
I was stuck in that trap for years, and I wish I had known what I know today: dating success starts with throwing yourself into the fire and learning through failure.
Experience is the ultimate teacher, and it’s where your results will come from. The only way to get valuable experience picking up women is to leave your house and try to pick up women. Anything short of that is procrastination.
For more content including hidden camera videos of myself approaching women, check out my YouTube channel:
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