Being good in bed is important. Not only are your sexual encounters going to be far more enjoyable for the girl (and for you),  but if you fuck a woman well, she’s going to want to see you again.

In fact, one of the best ways to turn a sexual encounter into a relationship is to be great in bed. If you’re better than anyone a woman’s been with, there will be a strong incentive for her to see you again.

With that said, What you do while fucking a woman is crucial, but what you do immediately before fucking her is just as important. In many cases, you can give a girl an orgasm (or several) simply by fingering her and performing cunnilingus.

Fingering/Cunnilingus

Fingering

Tempo and variety are the two most important aspects of fingering. Start slowly and gently rub her clit (and the surrounding areas) with your fingers. As she gets wet, intensify the stimulation.

Pay close attention to how the girl responds, notice whenever stimulating a particular area or a specific motion makes her moan louder, arch her back, and/or get even wetter.

So, try different things and focus on different areas, but whenever something is particularly arousing for her, double down on that and keep doing it until her arousal seems to hit its peak (this could take as little as 15 seconds or as much as a couple of minutes). 

Make a mental note that she likes that particular type of stimulation (I.E., the area, the movement, the intensity), and make sure to return to it again later.

Once a girl is noticeably wet, you can enter her with your fingers. Generally, two fingers are ideal, but you may want to start with one if she’s particularly tight. (As for the best technique when you’re a fingering a girl, I can’t accurately explain it without images, so you can check out this page for a detailed guide: https://www.schoolofsquirt.com/how-to-finger-a-girl/ )

As a general guideline, you’d be surprised by how much force you can use while fingering a girl. Now, if she’s not completely wet, you want to be tame, but if she is, you can gradually build up to use a lot of strength and pressure—the greater the stimulation, the more aroused the girl will become.

When you’re fingering a girl, you should increase the degree of stimulation over time while also including some variety. Slow down at some points. Be gentle and intimate for a minute before returning to a more aggressive pace. Predictability can quickly turn into boredom: by repeatedly changing your pace, you can keep the girl excited because she won’t know what to expect. 

If you follow the above guidelines, many women will reach the brink of orgasm within minutes. There are several signs that a girl is about to cum: she will hold your body tightly, her muscles will become tense, her breathing will become heavy and stiff, she will enter an animistic, trance-like state, and you will feel a change inside of her. 

Once you notice this, you should focus on one particular motion and build up the force and pace of that motion until she has an orgasm. If she doesn’t finish, that’s okay, just slow down the pace and reintroduce different motions until you think she’s close to finishing again.

With enough practice, you can give most women an orgasm simply by fingering them, and in fact, I’ve had girls tell me I gave them the strongest orgasms of their entire lives before we even had sex. Many people considering fingering something that’s ‘for high schoolers who haven’t had sex yet,’ but it can actually be just as pleasurable as cunnilingus or sex.

Cunnilingus

Don’t worry about the specific techniques you should use with your tongue. Instead, focus on variety. Try different things: use the tip of your tongue for a while, but then try using the top of it. Try an up and down motion, but then try side-to-side. Compare gentle stimulation to more forceful stimulation. Explore different areas.

Notice how she responds to each variation. Again, if she seems to particularly like something (you should be able to tell), do more of that until her excitement starts to wane.

In general, you want to use variety, but once you think a woman is close to orgasm, yous should focus on one type of stimulation to get her over the edge. 

Many women can reach orgasm from oral stimulation alone, but it can help to finger her while you’re going down on her—this can overwhelm her senses to the point that she loses control.

Sex

Dominance

When it comes to fucking a woman, the principles you learned in the fingering and cunnilingus sections still hold true. Gradually building the intensity while also varying the types of stimulation will cause a woman to become increasingly aroused. 

As crucial as variety and pacing are, the key difference between boring and amazing sex is dominance. 

Dominance and submission are opposites that create a polarity: a powerful magnetic charge.

Now, you don’t necessarily have to be dominant, and the woman doesn’t have to be submissive. Still, most women won’t play the dominant role in sex (especially during the first encounter), so you’ll be much better off learning how to be dominant in bed rather than submissive.

(if you’re a woman reading this, being dominant can be just as much a turn-on for men as it is for women so long as you don’t take it to the point that he becomes insecure. As a rule-of-thumb, the more shy a guy is, the easier it is for him to get uncomfortable. You can also make a man feel at ease with being dominant by telling him what you want, “Pull my hair,” “fuck me harder,” etc.)

The more dominant you are, the more a woman will feel like she can submit to you, which will create a building sexual tension. In his book, Why Women Have Sex, Evolutionary psychologist David Buss writes, “Sexual submission is a popular sexual fantasy among women. A study of 141 married women discovered that the fantasy ‘I imagine that I am being overpowered and forced to surrender’ was the second most common fantasy out of the list of fifteen.”

The more you can make a woman feel that you are overwhelmed with a desire to dominate her, the better.

What does this look like?

When making out with a girl, you might want to slam her against the wall (obviously gently enough that it doesn’t actually hurt her).

Or, if you’re on the couch with a girl, and things start to get heated, you can pick her up, carry her to the bed, and throw her on the bed before getting on top of her.

Dominance generally means taking the lead and asserting yourself. You want to take on the spirit of a wild animal who is lost in the act. Essentially, you are possessed by your desire to have this woman.

Instead of changing positions by meekly asking, “Would you like to get on top of me?” move her where you want her. You can also pull a girl’s hair (grab it from near her head, not from the end, or it will be uncomfortable). You can even pin a girl’s hands down to her side to show her that you have complete control over her body.

Obviously, if you get any signs of discomfort, stop what you’re doing. Generally, though, you will find that women absolutely love to be dominated in bed.

Show Her That You Desire Her

Women have a desire to be desired. If a woman doesn’t feel sexy, it’s very easy for her to get into a self-conscious state in which sex is barely enjoyable.

The best time to compliment a girl about her beauty is while she’s in bed with you. You already know she likes you at this point, there’s no need to hold back. 

Furthermore, complimenting a woman can help her let go of any insecure thoughts she may be having about how she looks. As men, we don’t remotely understand how much women are pressured to look a certain way. Even the most beautiful women are often uncomfortable with being naked around someone.

Compliments and expressing your desire will help combat any feelings of discomfort. For example, when you’re in bed with a girl, you might say:

  • “Your body is amazing.”
  • “You look so sexy.”
  • “You really turn me on.”
  • “I want you so badly right now.”

You can come up with your own lines, what matters is that you let her know how attractive she is and how much you want her.

Communicate

You can use dirty talk if you want. It can be fun, but it’s certainly not necessary for mind-blowing sex.

Talking after sex, though, is essential.

Candidly discussing sex with a girl will help make her more comfortable with her sexuality. Many women have insecurities about sex—having a real conversation about it can help a girl let go of those insecurities when she’s with you.

Furthermore, discussing sex can help you understand what she likes so that you can give her more of it.

When talking about sex, you must not sound insecure. Questions like, “Did you like that?” or, “Was that good for you?” are counterproductive because they make you look unsure of yourself.

Sounding insecure is, in itself, a turn-off. Plus, the girl may not give you honest answers to such questions (because she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings).

Frame questions positively. Instead of asking, “Did you like that?” Ask, “What did you like most about that?” Instead of asking, “Did you have an orgasm?” ask, “What was the strongest orgasm you ever had, and what caused it?”

Ask about what she likes, what she wants more of, and ask her what sexual fantasies she has. You may not be able to help her live out her exact fantasy, but you might be able to do something similar.

For example, if the theme of her fantasy is being dominated, you can use that knowledge as an indication that you should use more dominance. If her fantasy involves being dominant, you could allow her to live that fantasy out, too.

Get creative with how you discuss sex. The above should give you some starting points, but the conversation should be organic, not completely scripted.

Conclusion

Being good in bed is an integral part of success with women, yet it rarely gets talked about. 

When I first learned how to pick up girls, I didn’t focus any attention on this area, and I had some awkward sexual encounters. One time I was so hesitant in bed with a girl that she said, “Is this amateur hour?”

Fortunately, sex is a skill you can master. Years ago, I decided to read books about how to be good in bed, and I experimented with various strategies. 

It took a while, but eventually, I was able to give most women multiple orgasms the first time we slept together. This not only made the whole process of game more rewarding, but it also meant that if I wanted to see a girl again after we hooked up, I could easily make that happen.

Fortunately, the principles of good sex you learned in this chapter are simple to implement. You don’t need to learn anything fancy; you simply need to be dominant, escalate gradually, vary your technique, and pay close attention so you notice when a woman is responding well to something (so you can give her more of it).

Learning to be good in bed is actually much easier than learning how to get women into bed.

Now, if you’re inexperienced and concerned about not satisfying the women you sleep with, I recommend that you make a point to give more than you take. 

In most cases, bad sex is bad because the man didn’t put in enough time towards pleasuring the woman (or vice versa). To combat this, be particularly generous with foreplay so that even if the actual sex is somewhat lackluster, she will be pleased with the overall encounter.

Learning how to be good in bed is a useful skill. But it doesn’t really matter unless you know how to get attractive women into your bed in the first place. Fortunately, I’ve created the most comprehensive guide to success with women ever made: The Five Pillars of Game.

Follow me on Snapchat to see daily infield footage (approaches, makeouts, pulls) Username: AveryGHayden

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Get your free book: The Psychology of Seduction

Learn how to use proven psychological principles to attract women. In this book, you will learn:
1. How to increase your value using the power of scarcity.
2. How to use The Pygmalion Effect to make anyone like you
3. A simple psychological trick to prevent women from flaking on you.
4. And much more.

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Something went wrong.