Everything You Need To Know About Subcommunication (The Secret Language Of Sexual Attraction)
The principle of hypergamy dictates that women aren’t most attracted to men of equal status, they’re most attracted to men of higher status.
Men widely understand that status is attractive and they try to show that they are high status in a variety of ways – but few men understand that trying to seem high status actual reveals low status.
Take, for instance, my old roommate who told every girl he met that he was a Raytheon engineer. On a surface level, telling women that you have a good career should impress them, but on deeper level it does the opposite – the fact that you’re trying to prove yourself implies you don’t think it’s obvious that you’re awesome. Apparently, women can’t tell that you’re a high status guy just by being in your presence, you have to provide them logical evidence.
Because of this, the high status frame isn’t something that gets communicated through what you say as much as it gets communicated through how you carry yourself.
As men, we tend to focus on the logical layer of social interaction, but women don’t care about the logical layer, they care about the emotions you are subcommunicating.
So, what is subcommunication?
Anything that is implied rather than overtly said.
For example, if you were to tell a girl you’re a great kisser, but your voice quivered and you looked away as you said it, the subcommunication is that you don’t believe what you’re saying.
Subcommunication is important because the female brain has evolved over a very long time And although language has only existed for about 60,000 years, our ancestors have been having sex for over half a million years.
As we already discussed, women are attracted to men of high status. That begs the question, what are the preverbal indicators of high status?
Anything that shows you are indifferent to the possibility of rejection.
See, when you’re interacting with someone who has higher status than you, you have reason to worry about that person rejecting you – their opinion of you matters because they have power over you.
Yet, if you are interacting with someone who has lower status than you, there is no reason to care whether they reject you, you know that you have more to offer them than they have to offer you.
When you are unafraid of being rejected, your subcommunication will reflect this: your voice, body language, and eye contact will project confidence. Learning to adopt high status subcommunication will fundamentally change the way women (and people in general) react to you.
Partly, this comes with practice: the more women you approach, and the more rejections you face, the less you will care about getting rejected (so long as you don’t self-victimize). But you can also supplement this with conscious practice.
The following are the four most important aspects of high status subcommunication.
1. Your Body Language Is Open and Expressive
High status body language is defined by a willingness to take up space, unhesitant movement, expressive gesticulation, animated facial expressions, and comfort with using physical touch (this isn’t to say you have to be physical, but that you are unafraid of doing so).
In contrast, when someone believes they have low status, their body language becomes closed (arms crossed, holding a drink against their chest), they touch their own face and neck, they are afraid of using touch, they are uncomfortable with being touched, and their gestures and facial expressions are reserved.
These differences are guidelines rather than hard rules (I.E sometimes a high status person will put their hands in their pockets or cross their arms). Pay attention to your overall pattern of behavior rather than isolated examples of low status versus high status body language.
If you notice yourself in the above description of low status body language, conscious practice can help you improve your nonverbal communication over time. You can learn to take up more space, to gesticulate more boldly, etc.
It can help to make this into a daily practice: take two minutes to walk around with your body language as confident as possible. If you’re unsure what your body language should look like, study examples from films and popular culture (like Brad Pitt in Troy or Fight Club and Daniel Craig in James Bond).
Look at how these high status men carry themselves and do your best to replicate aspects of this in your daily practice. Don’t attempt to be a copy of one particular person, simply find points of inspiration from men who exude confidence in the way they carry themselves.
When working on your body language in this way, it is important to understand that you may get worse before you get better. The act of changing your body language can lead to a temporary increase in self-consciousness “Is what I’m doing weird? Are people judging me?” But if you persist through the initial discomfort, the changes will become natural to you and you will begin to notice people responding to you in an increasingly positive way.
2. Your Eye Contact Is Unwavering
Holding eye contact with someone creates a certain pressure – when that pressure becomes too great, we look away. This pressure we experience is an emotional representation of our desire to show submission. That’s why holding strong eye contact is a powerful sign of dominance (I.E. high status).
Eye contact, by itself, can spark sexual attraction. In fact, scientific research has shown that eye contact is so powerful it can cause complete strangers to fall in love (Why Women Have Sex, Pg. 4).
To communicate showing high status through your gaze, practice holding eye contact with women (or anyone you interact with) until they look away. Once they look away, you can look away as well.
This strategy ensures that your eye contact will be stronger than the women you meet while not being so strong that it makes people uncomfortable.
The power of eye contact cannot be overestimated, mastering this will create many opportunities with the women you meet. For an in-depth guide to holding strong eye contact, check out this article: https://redpilltheory.com/2018/11/26/how-to-create-sexual-attraction-with-eye-contact/
3. Your Vocal Tonality Projects Dominance
The tonality of your voice can communicate that you are a confident, high status guy. Similarly, it can also reveal that you are insecure and feel unworthy of the girl you’re talking to. The sound of your voice reflects how you feel about yourself – it can either be a powerful asset or a terrible liability.
What makes a voice attractive?
More than anything it’s the emotions it projects – dominance, positivity, passion, and carefreeness are all attractive in a voice whereas submissiveness, apathy, sadness, and reactiveness are all unattractive.
Our voice develops over the course of many years: our tonality is basically a habit. Because of this, we become comfortable with our voice, and attempting to change it can be stressful, it’s like swimming against the current.
Despite this, changing your voice is worth the effort: vocal tonality is one of the most powerful ways we signal whether we have high or low status.
I’ve linked an article below that explains, in-depth, how you can make your voice more attractive.
4. You Are Unfiltered
Being unfiltered is highly attractive to women.
When you are unfiltered, it is implied that you are comfortable with the possibility of being rejected, and therefore, you must have high status(1).
When we use a conversational filter, an idea of something to say will come to us, but before we say it, we think, “Is this thing interesting enough to say to this girl?” Or, “Will saying this offend her?” These thoughts are a reflection of our belief that we are not good enough for this girl by default, we are only good enough if we do and say the right things.
It can be hard to determine whether you are filtering what you say because this process largely happens subconsciously. However, there are two obvious signs that you are being overly filtered:
A.You have trouble thinking of things to say when talking to an attractive woman.
If you run out of things to say, it’s not because you are uninteresting, it’s because you are filtering all the things you would normally say as ‘not good enough.’ Do you run out of things to say when you’re talking to a close friend?
The difference is you’re not worried that your friend might reject you – there’s no reason to be overly filtered in what you say.
B. You are completely inoffensive
Do women ever disagree with you or get offended by something you say?
If not, that’s a sign you are filtering yourself too much. Now, you shouldn’t be constantly offending women or getting into arguments, but you should be occasionally saying something that causes a bit of friction.
Being unfiltered is a counteruintive idea, you’re basically making yourself less likable to make people like you. The reason it works, though, is that when someone cares too much about being liked by others, we feel a gut-level disrespect for them. We know that this person is being fake, that they are doing what we want them to do rather than being authentic: we can’t trust them and we can’t help but feel they are somehow beneath us.
For more on how to be unfiltered, check out this video:
Wrapping Up Everything You Need To Know About Subcommunication (The Secret Language Of Sexual Attraction)
The four strategies above will make women feel, on a subconscious level, that you are man of high status. This isn’t a frame you set by learning some lines or by telling DHV stories, it’s a frame you set through your subcommunication.
Understand: becoming a man who projects high status takes time and effort. You cannot simply read an article (like this one) and expect a radical shift to happen all on its own. The strategies you learned here are only helpful if you put them into practice.
That’s why I created, “The Trial: Transform Your Dating Life In 8 Weeks.”
I know how hard it is to turn advice you read on the internet into a real change, but in The Trial, you will be guided through a practical, step-by-step process for getting dates with beautiful women.
By following this process, you will learn to project high status in your every thought, word, and action. I can’t promise taking The Trial will be easy, but I can promise if you go through it, your life will never be the same again.
Check it out: here.
Of course, it is possible to be too unfiltered. If you come across as a rambling homeless person, you’re coming across as a social pariah – being unfiltered does need to be balanced with a certain degree of social awareness.Follow me on Snapchat to see daily infield footage (approaches, makeouts, pulls) Username: AveryGHayden
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