You can make nearly any woman want you, feel a magnetic attraction for you, and even experience a deeply erotic desire to be with you. But to harness this seductive power, you must understand what women really want.
There are three primary reasons women have sex with a man: status, reciprocal trust, and sexual arousal.
Sex Is About Status
Throughout my life, I’ve been pursued by a handful of women that I just wasn’t interested in.
The girls that pursued me weren’t stunningly beautiful, but most of them weren’t ugly either.
Why didn’t I take up any of these opportunities with women who were clearly into me?
I didn’t reject these women because sex with them wouldn’t have felt good. If you think about it, the sensations of having sex with a girl are roughly the same regardless of how she looks.(unless she’s overweight).
I rejected these women because have sex with them would have lowered my status. If I slept with a girl who I considered to have lower status than myself, then my own sense of status would decrease.
See, sex isn’t just about the physical pleasure of the act. If it were, we would sleep with any woman who showed interest in us (as long as they weren’t physically repulsive).
Sex is about status. Why do we want to fuck perfect 10’s when fucking an 8 would feel just as good? Because fucking a ten means our status increases.
We want to fuck someone who makes us feel proud of ourselves. We want the girl our friends would be jealous of. We want the girl our parents would approve of. We want the girl that only a winner could get with (because if we get with her, we must be a winner).
For women, the number 1 indicator of high status is physical beauty. What is the highest status job a woman can have? Being a supermodel.
For men, on the other hand, the biggest indicator of high status is career success. A male doctor is more impressive than a male model.
The Status Illusion
There’s an important nuance about status that few men consider. We know that women evolved to be attracted to high-status men. Status, for men is largely about having a prestigious career. So, we think that if we want to attract women, we should become a doctor or lawyer.
That’s not quite how it works.
When did the human brain evolve? Hundreds of thousands of years ago.
Our brain evolved in an environment where there were no doctors or lawyers. In the modern world, status is about career, but in the world our ancestors evolved in, status was about something else entirely.
Women are designed to pick up on a man’s status by observing his behavior and the way other people react to him. If you approach a girl and you can’t hold eye contact, your body language is defensive, and you speak with a submissive vocal tonality, she’s going to feel like you’re low status.
But, if you approach her and you hold laser eye contact, your body language is dominant, and you speak with an assertive tonality, she’s going to feel like you have high status.
Status isn’t something a girl picks up on intellectually, it’s something she picks up on emotionally. And that’s a good thing, because it means you can attract women with status even if you make minimum wage.
For men, sex and trust are mostly unrelated. If you fuck a girl and it turns out she’s crazy, you can just kick her out of your house.
For women, on the other hand, sex and trust are intimately connected. If a girl fucks a guy who turns out to be crazy, he could easily injure or even murder her.
The average man is more than twice as strong as the average woman. When a girl goes home with a guy she just met, she’s taking a big risk – she needs to be confident she can trust him.
Trust is also important for women on a biological level. The female brain associates having sex with the risk of pregnancy (our unconscious mind doesn’t understand the existence of birth control and condoms). Because of this, a woman wants to know that if she sleeps with a man, he’s going to stick around.
Have you ever had a friend who was dating a beautiful girl even though he wasn’t rich, good looking, or particularly interesting? This happens because it’s easier for a woman to sleep with an average guy that she trusts than it is to meet new guys who might turn out to be stalkers (or worse).
See, the classic advice of complimenting a girl, being chivalrous, and being a good listener is actually very effective… if you do it right.
Too much trust-building will land you in the friend-zone. But if a girl doesn’t think you’re trustworthy at all, she won’t be comfortable enough to go home with you.
This creates a paradox. A woman wants a man who’s willing to invest in her, but if a man invests too much in her, he comes across as needy (which is a huge turn-off).
The solution to this paradox is to show that you’re invested in the girl, but you’re also of higher status than her.
For example, if you compliment a girl, she’ll think you’re invested in her. But if you follow up that compliment with a playful tease, you’re showing that her that you don’t care if she rejects you. It’s not one or the other, it’s both.
Show her that you are high-status and you are also trustworthy. You’ll know whether you’re doing this right based on the way women react to you.
If your interactions with women lack sexual charge or you’re getting “friend-zoned,” then you’re trustworthy, but not displaying enough high status. If, however, women seem nervous around you and the numbers you get are unresponsive – then you’re not creating enough trust.
The Power of Sexual Arousal
People will often hook up with a stranger just because they’re horny.
If a below average looking girl approached you in front of your friends, you’d probably reject her. But what if she approached you while you were alone at a bar with nothing to do?
What if this less-than-beautiful girl leaned in close to you and whispers in your ear, “I just want to make you feel good tonight.”
As long as she wasn’t totally physically repulsive, you’d probably fuck her. You’d be turned on enough that logic would go out the window and you’d think, “Why the hell not!”
The same principle applies in reverse. Given the right circumstances, a woman will fuck a guy just because she’s turned on. A girl might think you’re not her type, she might consider herself ‘too good’ for you – but if you can make her feel raw lust, all those thoughts will cease to matter. When logic and emotions battle, emotions almost always win.
There are two ‘levels’ to turning a woman on. The first is trust, and the second is sexual tension.
If a girl doesn’t trust you, she’ll keep her guard up. You might hold strong eye contact with her, but she won’t hold it back. You might touch her, but she’ll lean away from you.
Reciprocal trust isn’t powerful because it creates sexual attraction in itself, it’s powerful because it makes a woman receptive to your influence. She likes you enough as a person that she lets her guard down.
Once a woman trusts you, you can freely create sexual tension with her. Now, she’ll reciprocate your strong eye-contact, she’ll be comfortable with your touch, and she will allow her desire for you to grow.
Wrapping Up Why Do Women Have Sex?
So, there are the three primary reasons women sleep with men: status, trust, and sexual arousal.
I have linked below a list of articles that will teach you how you can effectively use each of the psychological triggers:
You can attract women with status by:
Having high standards (Read Key 2)
You can create trust by:
You can sexually arouse a girl by:
Making seductive eye contact. (Read key 4)
Get your free book: The Psychology of Seduction
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1. How to increase your value using the power of scarcity.
2. How to use The Pygmalion Effect to make anyone like you
3. A simple psychological trick to prevent women from flaking on you.
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