Self-amusement is the art of making yourself feel good without relying on external stimulus. Instead of trying to make the women you meet feel good, you make yourself feel good.
If you can make yourself feel positive emotions while you’re interacting with a woman, she will feel those emotions, too. Feelings spread like a virus. In psychology, this principle is called emotional contagion.
If you’ve ever been yelled at, you know how easy it is to get caught up in someone else’s emotions. Their anger quickly becomes your anger.
The same principle applies to positive emotions. Learn how to make yourself feel good, and through emotional contagion, anyone you interact with will feel good, too.
In this article, you’re going to learn two strategies to magnetically attract women with self-amusement.
But before you can harness the power of self-amusement in your own life, you must understand why it’s so hard for most guys to ‘self-amuse’.
Why Women Love Risk Takers
When talking to an attractive woman, most men avoid taking conversational risks. On the surface, this makes sense – why would you say things that might offend a girl?
It’s true that if you keep your conversations safe, you won’t offend women. But you also won’t attract them.
Why do women gravitate towards ‘bad boys’? It’s not because these guys are mean, it’s because ‘bad boys’ are unpredictable. A “bad boy” won’t hesitate to tell a girl something that might offend her. This doesn’t mean he’s unkind, it simply means he’s unfiltered.
The difference between a “bad boy” and a nice guy is the difference between a wild stallion and a house pet. Like it or not, women find men with a hint of dangerousness extremely attractive.
Self-amusement will allow you to have the same effect on women that ‘bad boys’ do because self-amusement is inherently risky and unpredictable. And yes, this means that your first few attempts at using the techniques in this article might be a bit awkward – but if you persist through the initial rockiness, self-amusement will enable you to magnetically attract women.
Self-Amusement Technique 1:
You can self-amuse through exaggeration. For example, you could say, “Are you intimidated talking to a guy who’s 6’4?” (even though you’re actually only 5’11).
Saying something like this is fun because it’s unexpected and extremely arrogant. This works best if the girl can’t quite tell whether you’re joking (the uncertainty creates tension that gets released as laughter).
To be clear, when you exaggerate by saying something braggadocious, your goal should not be to impress her.
Imagine telling a girl, “I have 3 Rolexes, my job pays pretty well.” Saying that makes you sound like a douchebag.
Bragging about something true isn’t self-amusing, it’s stroking your ego. Bragging about something that clearly isn’t true, however, can be hilarious.
You can also self-amuse with negative exaggerations.
For example, you could tell a girl, “I’m actually a virgin. My mom says if I don’t get a girlfriend in 2-weeks, she’s going to have another kid so she can raise a winner.”
Paradoxically, telling a girl you’re a loser implies that you’re cool. An actual virgin would be extremely afraid to tell girls about his “condition”. The fact that you’re openly talking about being a virgin implies that you’re sexually confident.
A word of caution: don’t use negative exaggeration with things you’re genuinely insecure about. If you’re fat and you make a joke about how fat you are, you risk coming across as depressing.
Here’s a few examples of using exaggeration to self-amuse (you can use these in your own life, or use them as inspiration to come up with your own):
“I used to be a supermodel, but I decided to get a job at Wal Mart to spend more time with the little people.”
“I’m actually 37. I know I look young for my age, but I aged slowly because I didn’t leave my mom’s basement between the ages of 13 and 32.”
“I’m deeply, irrevocably in love with you. I’m going to marry you someday and have your babies.” (has to be said convincingly to work).
Self-Amusement Technique 2:
This technique allows you to say incredibly offensive things… and get away with it.
When a girl says something benign like, “I’m a waitress.” You can misinterpret what she said by asking, “You’re a drug dealer? That’s interesting. What drugs do you deal?”
Secretly, you know she didn’t say she was a drug dealer. But by misinterpreting her, you’re turning a logical discussion into something emotionally impactful. Secondly, misinterpretation allows you to push your own buttons (self-amuse) because you know that you’re doing something mischievous.
You can misinterpret anything a girl says. If a girl says she’s from Korea, you could say, “You’re from North Korea? I’ve heard good things, why’d you downgrade to America?”
You can also misinterpret what a girl says as a compliment towards you. For example:
Girl: You’re pretty funny.
Guy: What’s that? You think I’m sexy? I don’t know about that, but thanks for the flattery.
As long as you sound like you genuinely think she said you’re sexy, this line works because it shows a charming type of arrogance that women (secretly) love.
There’s no limit to the ways you can use misinterpretation to spice up a conversation. Below, I’ve listed a couple more ideas that you can take inspiration from.
Keep in mind that for misinterpretation to work, you must speak with certainty. If you sound unsure of what you’re saying, the misinterpretation can come across as awkward rather than fun.
Girl: I love reading.
Guy: Oh, you’re a big fan of 50 Shades of Grey, aren’t you? That’s cool.Those books reveal a lot about the secret desires some women have.
Girl: What do you do for fun?
Guy: You think doing me would be fun? We just met.”
Conclusion: Make Your Personality Addictive To Women (With The Power Of Self-Amusement)
Self-amusement is nothing less than a social superpower. Anyone who can make themselves feel good will attract people to them like a magnet.
Most men think they’ll feel better once they get the girl. These men have it backwards.
If you think you’ll be happier once you get a girl, you’re going to come across as needy – girls will sense that you want something from them.
But if you get can get yourself into positive state using self-amusement, the dynamic will flip, and women will want something from you.Follow me on Snapchat to see daily infield footage (approaches, makeouts, pulls) Username: AveryGHayden
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