When is the last time you “negged” a girl?
When’s the last time you approached a girl using an “opinion opener?”
Unless you’ve been part of the seduction community for many years, you probably don’t even know what those words mean.
In 2018, PUA techniques are considered inauthentic and creepy. And, there’s truth to that. Having an entire conversation scripted from beginning to end is robotic. Despite this, there is tremendous value in knowing a few ‘PUA techniques’.
Techniques can help you take your game to the next level.
Let’s say you have trouble getting girls you approach to have a real conversation with you. Learning an indirect opener can get you past that obstacle. Alternatively, if you have to aggressively pursue women to keep them interested, learning disqualifiers will help you flip the dynamic so women start chasing you.
Every interaction with a woman goes through several ‘stages’:
- The initial approach.
- Reaching the social hook point (meaning she would rather you stay than leave).
- The sexual hook point (meaning she’s aroused by your presence).
- Vibing (building an emotional connection).
- Taking her home.
- And, of course, sex.
You shouldn’t plan out every line you’re going to say to a girl, but you should have a specific strategy for moving through each of the above stages.
If you’ve been talking to a girl for a couple hours, and you think she wants to go home with you, you need a strategy to make that happen (she’s not going to do it for you).
You should have an excuse prepared to take a girl home with you (I.E. “It’s too loud here, let’s go somewhere we I can hear you better.” Or, “There’s an after-party nearby, let’s check it out really quick.”)
Similarly, you should have some “openers” prepared that are likely to start a good conversation with the girls you approach.
If you can make, “Hey, I thought you were cute and I had to say hi,” work consistently, do that. But if you’re having trouble getting your interactions to last more than 30 seconds, you should be thinking about different conversation starters you can use.
Or, if you can start a conversation, but girls don’t seem to get sexually attracted to you, you should come up with specific strategies to overcome that hurdle. For example, you might practice holding strong eye contact or learn how to speak with a more masculine tonality.
See, the power of PUA techniques is that you can use a specific technique to address whatever it is that’s holding you back from getting results. You can methodically overcome any obstacle by implementing the appropriate technique.
In this article, you’re going to learn 3 of the best PUA techniques that will actually help you succeed with women.
An opener is direct if it clearly demonstrates you’re interested in the girl. The classic direct opener is, “I thought you were cute and I had to say hi.”
Direct openers absolutely can work. Some girls are going to be instantly attracted to you – and being direct will give these women a reason to flirt with you. Occasionally, direct approaches can lead to instant make outs and 5-minute pulls.
However, being direct will also get you immediately rejected – a lot. Most women aren’t going to be attracted to you the moment you approach them.
Opening directly forces the girl to make a snap decision about you. Keep in mind that women get hit on by a lot of creepy, pushy guys. When you open directly, most girls are going to assume you’re just another creepy, pushy guy – and so, they’ll reject you.
This is why opening indirectly is so valuable. It allows you to distinguish yourself from the many guys who just want to get in her pants. By being indirect, you’re showing that you’re interested in having a real conversation with her. You’re not thirsty, you’re just social.
One simple indirect opener you can use is to make an assumption about her. For example, if a girl looks Brazilian you can simply say, “Are you from Brazil?”
It doesn’t matter if you’re guess is accurate. The point of this opener is that you’re saying something that’s emotionally relevant to her – women love to know what people think of them.
You’ll probably guess wrong, and she’ll tell you where she’s actually from. You can follow up by saying, “Oh, I see, you just looked a little too stylish to be from here.” Making her feel good will open her up to having a real conversation with you. You don’t want to be overly complimentary, but it’s generally good to start a conversation off on a positive note.
Another indirect opener you can use is a classic. It goes like this:
You: Hey, can I ask you something really quick? Do I look like a drug dealer to you?
You: I see, I wondered because this girl just came up to me and said, “Hey do you have any ecstasy, I really want to do some ecstasy right now.”
Her: “That’s weird, there’s a lot of drug addicts here.” Etc. etc.
The ‘drug dealer’ opener is good because it gives you a reason to talk to a girl without showing that you’re interested in sleeping with her. This increases the chance she’ll give you the opportunity to win her over with your personality (rather than dismissing you by saying they have a boyfriend or need to use the restroom etc.)
Being indirect isn’t about hiding your sexual intentions. It’s about giving the girl an opportunity to make an informed decision about you, rather than pressuring her to make a snap decision. When opening indirectly, you still should have a sexual vibe, but you’re not putting her into an uncomfortable position by telling her you are attracted to her.
When you’re interacting with a beautiful woman, she’s going to assume that you want to sleep with her by default. She’s used to being aggressively pursued by men who want to fuck her. This assumption works against you because it gives her the power in the interaction. She knows she has something you want. And she knows it’s up to her whether to give it to you.
The power of disqualifiers is that they turn this dynamic on its head. You’re showing the girl that you’re not sure whether you’re sexually attracted to her, and that in fact, you are the prize to be won.
One of my favorite disqualifiers goes like this, “Hey, you’re adorable. I’m adopting you as my new little sister.” By saying this, you’re framing that she’s fun to be around, but you don’t see her in a sexual light. This gives her an incentive to prove to you that she is sexually attractive (by pursuing you).
Another simple disqualifier you can use goes like this, “You’re not my type, but you’re fun to talk to. We should be friends.
By making a girl think she’s not your type, you’re showing her that you’re a challenge. Women love to win over a guy. The challenge is thrilling for them. A beautiful woman rarely gets this opportunity though, because most men throw themselves at her feet. Use disqualifiers to give women the challenge they secretly desire.
The term compliance ladder sounds inherently creepy. Despite this, compliance ladders are so effective they can’t be ignored.
Compliance ladders are based on a principle in psychology known as the “foot in the door technique”. Psychologists found that when someone agrees to a small request, they’re far more likely to agree to a subsequent larger request.(1)
This principle has powerful implications in dating.
If the first request you make of a girl is for her to come home with you, chances are she’ll say no.
However, if you first ask her to get a drink with you, then you ask her to go to another club with you, and only then, you ask her to hang out at your place, she’s considerably more likely to agree.
You should have a basic idea of the steps you’re going to take to pull a girl back to your place. Ask for small amounts of compliance at first, then increasingly larger amounts of compliance over time.
For example, you might do the following:
- After talking with the girl for a few minutes, invite her to dance with you.
- After dancing with the girl, invite her to talk with you outside.
- After talking outside, invite her to check out a nearby club. (if there are no nearby clubs, you can invite her to get food with you somewhere nearby, or just skip this step).
- After checking out a nearby club with her, invite her back to your place to get a drink.
Now, the exact steps you’ll take depend on the situation. The above applies to meeting a girl at a club, but during the day, it might look like this:
- After talking with the girl for a few minutes, invite her to get a cup of coffee with you.
- After hanging out at the coffee shop for a while, invite her to go on a walk with you.
- After walking with her, invite her to get a drink with you at a nearby bar.
- After getting a drink with her, invite her to get a drink at your place.
- (If she’s not old enough to drink, you can take her to a park nearby or to check out a shop in the area.)
If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Bringing a girl home with you from a club is rarely going to happen unless you have a specific strategy in place.
The value in compliance ladders is that they not only make a girl more likely to agree to your requests, but they also allow you to structure your interactions in a consistent, reliable way.
If a girl is open to the idea of going home with you, and you go through the steps of your ‘compliance ladder’ you will pull her home with you – every single time.
Conclusion: 3 PUA Techniques That Can Actually Get You Laid
Relying too much on PUA techniques can turn you into a social robot. But if you don’t use any techniques, you won’t reliably get the results you want. Every guy who is successful with women has techniques he consistently uses (whether or not he’s consciously aware of them).
If you’re not getting the results you want in dating, then you can find a technique that will help you overcome your particular obstacle.
It’s one thing to know that you should make girls chase you. But knowing that and having a method for doing it are two very different things. Techniques allow you to put general principles into practice. Whatever area of your game you want to improve, there’s a technique that will help you do so.
The main reason guys don’t use techniques is that they’re fake or unnatural. However, if you think about it, anything is fake until you’re comfortable with it.
If you’ve never kissed a girl, the first time you attempt to do so, it’s probably going to feel forced. Does that mean you shouldn’t ever lean in to kiss a girl?
No. It just means that if you want to make progress, you’re going to have to accept some discomfort. The first few times you try a technique, it might be uncomfortable. But if you do it enough times, you will be able to use that technique in a confident, genuine way.
It takes some patience to get the benefits of using specific techniques. Don’t expect them to ‘work’ on your first attempt. But if you’re willing to go through the initial awkwardness, PUA techniques can radically improve your success with women.Follow me on Snapchat to see daily infield footage (approaches, makeouts, pulls) Username: AveryGHayden
Get your free book: The Psychology of Seduction
Learn how to use proven psychological principles to attract women. In this book, you will learn:
1. How to increase your value using the power of scarcity.
2. How to use The Pygmalion Effect to make anyone like you
3. A simple psychological trick to prevent women from flaking on you.
4. And much more.
Thank you for subscribing.
Something went wrong.