How To Charm A Girl In Two Simple Steps
Charm is the art of making someone feel good in your presence. With enough charm, people will become addicted to your personality like a drug.
Unfortunately, charm is elusive to most men. We are taught that conversation is a tool for exchanging logical ideas, but charm is about exchanging emotions.
Any man can become charming – it has nothing to do with your appearance or the money in your wallet. Charm is conveyed through what you say and how you say it. And with enough charm, your dating options will increase exponentially. The more women enjoy being around you, the more interested they will be in starting a sexual relationship with you.
In this article, you’re going to learn 2 simple methods for charming the women you meet. Few guys implement either of these strategies. if you use both, women will respond you to you in ways most men wouldn’t dream of.
How To Charm A Girl Key 1:
Make The Conversation Emotionally Engaging
How do most conversations between a man and a woman start?
With an interview. For example:
Guy: Hey, how’s it going?
Girl: Good. How about you?
Guy: It’s great. Where are you from?
Guy: California? That’s cool. What do you do for work?
Girl: I’m a nurse.
Guy: A nurse, that’s awesome. So, what do you do for fun?
What’s missing in the above conversation? Emotional relevance.
If you want to charm a girl, steer the conversation towards topics that she is personally invested in.
For example, when a girl says she’s a nurse, you could say, “Do you love it or hate it?” Then, she’ll respond by talking about how her work makes her feel.
I asked this exact question to a girl last night, and she talked about the ups and downs of her career for five minutes straight. Immediately afterwards, she asked me for my number.
It’s okay to ask interview questions like, “Where are you from?” and “What do you do for fun?” But make sure to follow up on those questions with something more emotional.
If a girl says she’s from Los Angeles, ask her something like, “What’s it like living in a city where everything is so competitive?” or, “I’ve heard that most of the people in L.A. are really fake, is that true?”
With questions like the above, you’re changing the conversation from an exchange of facts, to an exchange of experiences. Women love talking about their experience of life. Facts, on the other hand, are emotionally stale.
To give you some ideas for making a conversation emotional, here are topics that women find engaging:
- Her passions/hopes/dreams (I.E. “If money weren’t a concern, and you could do anything with your time, what would you do?”)
- Her personality (I.E. “You seem like the kind of girl who says what’s on her mind even if it might be offensive. I like that.” Alternatively, use ‘the cube’ routine).
- Spirituality (I.E. Ask her what her sign is, then follow up by asking if she believes Astrology is real.)
- Love (I.E. “Have you ever been in love?” Or, “Do you think the best love is passionate and chaotic, or stable and unassuming?”)
- Drama (I.E. “I’m going to point out three guys in the club. You have to choose one to marry, one to fuck, and one to kill.” Or, “What would you do if you had to choose between being with a guy who’s the best lover in the world, but he has no career, or a guy who has an amazing career, but he’ll never give you an orgasm?”
Any of the above topics make for conversation that is as addictive to women as crack cocaine.
If your conversations with women tend to be logical, I recommend you take 15 minutes to write down the above list of topics (Love/Her personality/etc. and you come up with some ideas of how you can bring them up in conversation.
Cold reading is a simple, yet effective, technique for making a conversation emotionally relevant to a girl.
You could ask a question like, “What do you do in your free time?” But it’s much more emotionally engaging to cold read what she does in her free time. For example:
“You seem like the kind of girl who goes on crazy, spontaneous adventures.”
“You seem like someone who works hard while everyone else is looking at Instagram.”
“You seem like you might be an only child.”
She’ll say, “What do you mean by that?”
You can respond, “I mean you seem independent and like you’re comfortable with being the center of attention.”
You can use cold reading to make what would otherwise be boring interview questions, emotionally relevant:
“Where are you from?” Becomes, “You’re from Portland, aren’t you?”
“What do you do for a living?” Becomes, “You seem like you’re an artist of some kind”
By talking about emotionally engaging topics and using cold reading, women will not only respond to you more positively, but they’ll also be far more invested in their conversation with you (oftentimes so invested that they’ll want to keep the conversation going in a private location).
How To Charm A Girl Key 2:
Let Her Chase You
Society teaches us that men should pursue women, not the other way around. From a woman’s perspective, being relentlessly pursued by dozens of guys quickly becomes tedious. It’s flattering to be wanted, but it’s also unexciting (because there’s no challenge).
When something is easy to get, we assume it must have little value. This why a rich kid whose parents buy him a Tesla can be upset that they didn’t buy him a Lamborghini (even though most people wish they could get a Tesla.
The same applies to dating. If you are easy to get, women will assume that you have little value. If a girl gets the impression that she’s won you over, there’s nothing for her to be excited about. To charm a woman, you must give her the sense of challenge she secretly desires.
This can’t be entirely faked. If you have low standards and you’re willing to sleep with any girl who’ll have you – women will sense your desperation.
The first step to getting women to pursue you is to determine exactly what you do (and don’t) want in a potential partner. Obviously, you want someone who’s physically attractive – that goes without saying – but what non-physical traits are interested in?
Take 15 minutes to write it out. Describe 5 traits that you do want in a woman and 5 traits you don’t want.
For example, you may want a woman who is ambitious, who is confident in her sexuality, who is funny, highly feminine, and who is well educated.
You may not want a woman who:
- Does drugs
- Is a bad listener
- Takes things seriously
- Is unintelligent
- Doesn’t speak her mind
Write out the traits you do and don’t want and flesh them out by writing a couple sentences about what each trait really means to you.
Once you have an idea of what you do and don’t want in a girl, you can interact with women from a completely different frame.
Instead of trying to prove yourself to her, you’re finding out if she’s someone you’re interested in dating. From her perspective, this makes you a challenge worth pursuing, instead of just another guy who wants to get in her pants.
To get a girl to start chasing you, you can simply do less. Most guys feel they need to keep the conversation going, so if there’s ever a moment of silence, the guy thinks of something to fill in the gap with. Instead, let her fill in the gap.
When there’s a quiet moment between you and a girl, just hold eye contact until she feels the need to ask you something. This way, she’s the one pursuing you. She’s the one investing more in the conversation.
This principle applies to conversation in general. Once you bring the conversation to emotionally relevant topics like we listed above, let her talk as long as she wants to.
You can ask further questions and comment on what she said, but let her do most of the talking – she’s much more interested in herself than she is in you. And if you can get a girl to talk about herself in a way that is emotionally engaging, there’s no reason for you to try and take the spotlight.
Think of this as the difference between using a paddleboat and a sailboat. With a paddleboat you’re doing all the heavy lifting, you’re using brute force to move the boat. But with a sailboat, you’re simply directing external forces in a way that benefits you.
Conversation with women is the same way, it’s much more powerful to get a girl to talk about things she’s interested in than it is to try and control every aspect of the conversation. Let her do most of the work, simply guide her towards topics that engage her.
By letting a woman chase you, you’re giving her the opportunity to win over a cool guy (instead of putting up with yet another man’s desperate attempts at sleeping with her). True charm isn’t about winning a girl over, it’s about making her feel like she’s winning you over.
Wrapping Up How to Charm A Girl in Two Simple Steps
Charm seems like a mysterious quality that only a lucky few men are born with. But, in truth, charm can be boiled down to a science. By making your conversations emotionally exhilarating and by positioning yourself as a challenge, women will inevitably be charmed by you.
Of course, there are other methods for charming women (making strong eye contact, building your confidence, and teasing), but the two tips you learned in this article are the fundamentals to interacting with a woman in a way that sweeps her off her feet. Without these fundamentals, your conversations with women will be platonic at best, boring at worst. With them, your conversations will be emotionally addictive.
Follow me on Snapchat to see daily infield footage (approaches, makeouts, pulls) Username: AveryGHayden
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