Women are confusing. To most men, female desire seems like a mystery that would stump even Sherlock Holmes.
Fortunately, in the last 100 years, our scientific understanding of female desire has come a long way. We now know that women are hard-wired to respond to a specific set of traits with sexual desire.
Truthfully, some of these attractive traits are outside your immediate control (I.E. your appearance, your career).
However, the most powerful triggers for female attraction are not physical, but psychological. Any man can attract women if he displays the right personality traits.
In this article, you’re going to learn exactly how to cultivate the traits that will give the women you interact with an unconscious desire to be with you.
How To Get A Girl To Like You Back Tip 1:
Neediness Is Cancer
Neediness is to women what bug repellent is to mosquitoes: it keeps them away.
The most common dating mistake men make is being way too available. Many men think if they shower a woman with positive attention, she’ll appreciate the effort (and reward that effort by dating him).
Logically, this makes sense. But female attraction isn’t sparked by logic, it’s sparked by emotion. And being too available makes a woman feel that you must be desperate to get her:
Being overly available implies that other women aren’t interested in you or pursuing you, which, in turn, implies that something must be wrong with you. Any form of neediness will subconsciously tell a girl that you are a low-quality man.
The first step to killing neediness is to make sure you don’t invest in her more than she invests in you:
- If you’ve having a conversation with a girl, let her talk as much (if not more than) you do.
- If you meet a girl at a bar, don’t buy her a drink, doing so tells her that you believe she wouldn’t talk to you for free.
- If a girl is giving your short responses via text, give her equally short responses. If you always initiate contact, give her a few days to let her initiate contact with you.
Of course, neediness is a symptom of a deeper problem. When a guy acts needy it’s because he has a scarcity mindset. You can make yourself appear less needy by altering your behavior, but to truly cure neediness, you must adopt an abundance mindset.
How To Get A Girl To Like You Back Tip 2: Adopt an Abundance Mindset
When you have an abundance mindset, the idea of getting rejected by a girl isn’t a big deal. You know that even if a girl turns you down, you can easily attract another high-quality woman without much trouble.
When you have a scarcity mindset, the idea of getting rejected by a girl is terrifying. You believe that this girl is your best shot at getting a relationship, and if you make your move and fuck it up, you’re going to spend months with only the company of your right hand.
Most guys have a scarcity mindset when it comes to women, and this mindset makes them needy and unattractive. So, how do you do change a scarcity mindset into an abundance mindset?
Unfortunately, you can’t trick yourself into an abundance mindset. You can’t repeat affirmations like, “I am attractive to women, I am attractive to women…” and expect to actually believe yourself.
To develop an abundance mindset, you must create an actual abundance of dating options for yourself.
If you go out this weekend, and exchange numbers with 10 attractive women, you’ll be one step closer to an abundance mindset.
After grabbing 10 numbers, you’ll be much less needy interacting with your crush (because you know you have other options).
If you want to attract your crush, don’t show her that you’re willing to do anything to get her. Show her that you are a guy who can get any woman he wants. Instead of putting her on a pedestal like a prize to be won, position yourself as a prize to be won.
The harsh psychological truth is that if a woman is 100% confident she could get you, the idea of getting you isn’t exciting – there’s no mystery, there’s no challenge. By adopting an abundance mindset, you will give women the impression that you could walk away at any moment because you have other options.
The difference between a guy with an abundance mindset and a guy with a scarcity mindset is subtle. It shows up in your body language, your vocal tonality, and your “vibe”. A woman can smell desperation as easily as a dog can smell a pile of shit.
Building an abundance mindset is easier said than done. It’s very easy to tell yourself, “I really like this girl, and I’m going to show her that I’m the guy for her by swearing off other women and focusing all my attention on her!” It sounds good in theory, but it’s really just a path towards pain and resentment.
Instead, develop an abundance mindset by going out and exchanging numbers with a lot of attractive women. Alternatively, you can use online dating apps to go on dates with a variety of girls. Either way, the more options you have to choose from, the more attractive you will be to women in general.
How To Get A Girl To Like You Back Tip 3: Keep the Pressure Low
Most women want to feel like sex is something, “that just happened.” It’s your responsibility to give her the experience she wants – if you don’t, she’s unlikely to end up in your bed.
Many guys lavish women with compliments to make them feel good. But being too forward and direct can easily make a girl feel pressured.
To be fair, sometimes this high-pressure style of game works. If you meet the right woman at the right time, you can attract her by being direct and overly complimentary. But, this style of game alienates more women than it attracts.
A few women you meet will be “yes” girls. This means that you’re their physical “type”, and they’re predisposed to like you. Direct game is effective on “yes” girls.
Most women you meet will be “maybe” girls. They don’t find you unattractive, but they also aren’t sexually aroused by your very presence. You can (often) change a “maybe” girl into a “yes” girl. But to do so, you must keep the pressure low.
If you’re talking to a “maybe” girl, and you tell her how attractive she is, she’s usually going to become a “no” girl.
Because she’s going to put you in the same category as all the needy guys who are way too interested in getting with her.
Showing too much interest gives away your power, it’s like showing your hand in a game of poker. Now that she knows how much you want her, there’s no reason for her to invest in your or chase you, because she knows she can have you whenever she wants.
Ideally, a girl shouldn’t know whether you like her as a friend or a potential lover. She should feel sexual tension when interacting with you, but your words and your overall demeanor leave room for her to wonder what you think about her.
To leave some mystery, avoid complimenting a girl on her physical appearance. Instead, compliment her on her personality. Tell her she’s funny, or a great storyteller, or that you like her style (the compliment will be more effective if it’s true). Furthermore, don’t compliment her too often. Compliments are like icing – best used sparingly.
Keep the Pressure Low with Playful Teasing
The most powerful way to keep the pressure low is counterintuitive: make fun of her. If you tease a girl, you’re showing her that you don’t take her too seriously, you’re showing her that you’re willing to risk being offensive. This implies that you’re not afraid of getting rejected by her (which takes pressure off of her).
The key to teasing a girl is that it must be done in the spirit of fun. If you say something with the intention of hurting her feelings, it’s going to backfire. But if you tease her purely for the fun of it, it will make her laugh and even create sexual tension.
An easy way to tease a girl is simply to say, “that explains a lot” to anything she says.
If she says, “I’m from England.”
You could respond, “That explains a lot.”
If she says, “What, what does that explain?!”
You can say, “You know what they say about English girls… Anyway, I’m sure you’re great. What do you do for a living?”
If you deliver the line in a carefree way, she’s going to either laugh or get really invested in the conversation by asking you a bunch of questions.
Of course, if you deliver the line in a confrontational way, she’ll respond negatively – in which case you can say you were just kidding and move on.
If you’re getting negative responses to teasing regularly, it means you should practice changing your delivery until you start getting better reactions (if you use teasing well, you’ll almost always get a positive response).
There are numerous other techniques you can use for teasing, to get the best results you want to practice using one method until you get consistently positive responses with it, then you can branch out.
You don’t have to tease a girl to keep the pressure low, but it’s a great way to practice what could otherwise seem like an overly philosophical concept.
If you think, “Well, I’m a nice guy, I don’t want to be mean to women.” Teasing isn’t mean unless you’re doing it for the wrong reasons. Teasing is actually nice, it gives the girl you’re interacting with the opportunity to let loose and have fun with you.
How To Get A Girl To Like You Back Tip 4:
Use the Power of Eye Contact
Scientific research has shown that when strangers make strong eye contact with each other for four minutes, they fall in love with each other. Eye contact is the point of greatest leverage you can use to become more attractive to women.
Strong eye contact is what evolutionary psychologists call an honest signal (An honest signal is an attractive trait or behavior that cannot be faked).
Weak eye-contact is a byproduct of low self-confidence. Strong eye contact, on the other hand, is a byproduct of high self-confidence. Making strong eye contact implies that you are confident in general.
Of course, if you increase your self-confidence, you will naturally start making stronger eye-contact. But you can’t develop confidence overnight – it takes months.
Fortunately, you can short-circuit this process by focusing on making strong eye-contact first. If you make strong eye contact, women will assume that you are confident in general, and they will respond to you the way they respond to a highly confident man (with attraction).
To make stronger eye contact, you must practice. Here’s three practical strategies you can use:
- Although they’re pretty weird, there are eye-contact training videos on Youtube you can watch, these videos will help you get used to holding strong eye contact with an attractive woman.
(Watching this video without taking action in real life is a form of mental masturbation. However, watching it as a supplement to taking action is a useful tool. Your brain cannot distinguish between a real person and a video, practicing eye contact with these videos will make you comfortable with making strong eye contact in real life, too.)
- You can also practice making eye contact while you’re in a public place. Whenever you cross paths with a woman, look at her. If she looks back, hold eye contact with her until she looks away (you don’t want to stare). If she doesn’t look back, look away after a few seconds. Make sure to make eye contact with a slight smile while doing this, it will make you seem more inviting and approachable.
- Of course, you can also practice making strong eye contact while interacting with women. The basic gist is to hold eye contact with a woman until she looks away, then you can look away for a moment, too. With this method, your eye contact will always be a bit stronger than the girl you’re talking to, but not so intense that it comes across as creepy.
To get the benefits from any of these exercises, you’ll need to practice regularly – but the benefits are worth it. The power of eye contact cannot be overestimated.
Wrapping Up How to Get A Girl to Like You Back
Even a man who is below average looking can attract beautiful women if he exhibits the 4 traits we covered in this article.
If you kill neediness, adopt an abundance mindset, keep the pressure low, and use the power of eye contact, women will find you attractive – it’s imprinted in their DNA to feel that way.
Of course, making these changes is easier said than done. It takes real effort to develop your personality.
That’s why I offer a free hour of Skype coaching to anyone who reaches out to me. I know how hard it is to take action, and I want to help anyone who’s ready to make a real change.
In your free coaching session, we will make a specific step-by-step plan for you to get the dating life you really want.
You can reserve your free session, here.
(If you choose to continue coaching past the first session, the normal rate is only $30/hr.)Follow me on Snapchat to see daily infield footage (approaches, makeouts, pulls) Username: AveryGHayden
Get your free book: The Psychology of Seduction
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1. How to increase your value using the power of scarcity.
2. How to use The Pygmalion Effect to make anyone like you
3. A simple psychological trick to prevent women from flaking on you.
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