Never Run Out Of Things To Say To A Girl Again
What do beautiful women like to talk about? How attractive they are? The Kardashians? The new Snapchat filter that just came out?
It’s none of the above. In fact, finding the right topic isn’t the solution to having great conversations with attractive women.
Guys run out of things to say because when they see a hot girl they go into “seduction mode” instead of having a normal conversation with her. Everything they say is designed to accomplish their objective (of getting laid)
Here’s the paraphrased transcript of a conversation a friend of mine had with a hot girl yesterday:
Guy: You’re really cute, I had to introduce myself.
Hot girl: Thanks, that’s nice of you.
Guy: So, what do you do for fun?
Hot Girl: Oh, you know, I like to hang out with my friends and hike sometimes.
Guy: Do you like coffee?
Hot Girl: I guess.
Guy: We should get coffee sometime!
Hot Girl: Well, I’m really busy.
Guy: What are you doing on Thursday?
Hot Girl: Working all day.
Guy: Okay, want to hang out on Sunday?
Hot Girl: Sorry, I can’t.
The guy from the above example wasn’t interested in getting to know the girl, he was laser focused on getting her on a date. It’s great to go for what you want, but you have to consider what the girl wants, too.
When your goal is just to pull a girl or get her number, it’s easy to run out of things to say. Focusing too much on your goal makes it impossible to consider what the girl wants.
Take the above example, when the guy asked the girl what she did for fun, she told him about two of her hobbies. Instead of trying to get her to get coffee with him, he could have talked more about hiking or hanging out with friends.
For example, he might have talked about his favorite hiking trails in town. Or he could have said he wished he could find time to hike and asked for a recommendation for a good beginner’s trail.
Whenever a girl says something, you can associate off what she said to go into a deeper conversation. If you get good at doing this, you will never run out of things to say again. When guys run out of things to say, it’s ultimately because they’re not paying attention to what the girl is talking about.
Guy: What do you study?
(Psychology associates with therapy, psychiatry, helping people, understanding how people think, stress, happiness, etc. You could follow up her answer with any of the following:
– So, you want to help people in some way?
– Do you want to be a therapist?
– So, you’re good at psychology. Do you know what I’m thinking right now?
– Has psychology taught you how to manage stress? If so, please teach me.
– What’s your favorite class in psychology?
(There are infinite other possibilities, what you might say depends on what you know about psychology)
Any of those questions could lead to a deeper conversation about the girl’s interest in psychology. Obviously, you can’t memorize all the possibilities, that would be like trying to memorize all the possible moves in the game of chess. Instead, whenever a girl says something, you want to spontaneously associate off of what she says.
At first this might seem difficult. But you already know how to do this. All your best conversations up to this point have been associative in nature. You can already generate conversation topics through association, but when we talk to an attractive girl, we overthink and try to look for the logical next thing to stay – this stifles our creativity.
I bet you don’t run out of things to say when talking to a good friend of yours.Why is it different with a girl you like? Because overthinking gets in your way.
Exercise: Practice free-association
With just a couple minutes a day, you can make free-association a habit. To practice this, set a timer to two minutes and think of (or say aloud) a chain of associations. Here’s what this looks like:
Lion – Mammal – Human – Ego – Freud – Famous – Brad Pitt – Hollywood – Money – Tesla – scientist – Inventions (etc.)
The goal is simply to think of a word and then think of a word associated with that word. Doing this will exercise your free-association “muscle”. Do this enough, and you will easily be able to associate off of anything a girl says, and you’ll never run out of things to say again.
(This was an excerpt from my upcoming book, Irresistible)
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