Seduction is an emotional process in which your words and actions fan the fires of sexual desire in a woman. Seduction is not simply picking a girl up, it’s making her lust for you.
Most dating advice teaches men how to chase women. That’s what picking up a girl is to the majority of men, impressing her, trying to get her, and generally convincing her that she should date you.
Seduction is the opposite, it is making a girl want you so badly that she starts to chase you.
When we think of seduction, we usually think of something that takes place in the bedroom. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Seduction doesn’t happen in the bedroom, what happens in the bedroom is an extension of a successful seduction.
The moment a girl consciously wants to sleep with you, she has been seduced. This rarely takes place in the bedroom, it happens when she realizes that you are a source of incredible sexual value.
Seduction isn’t so much something you do as it is something you are. When you are seductive, women will be seduced by your personality naturally.
This isn’t to say you should never use a particular strategy or technique, but who you are is much more powerful than any specific thing you do.
It’s important to understand that a woman will rarely initiate sex, even if she is completely enamored with you. Women fear rejection just as much as men, if she really likes you, making a move on you represents a risk of getting hurt.
This creates a catch-22, how can you make a girl chase you when you have to make the first move?
A woman’s way of making a move isn’t leaning in to kiss you, it’s removing obstacles to sex.
For example, she might mention that she’s not doing anything the next day. Or, she may casually point out that she has a bottle of wine she’s been wanting to break open. Other will be more direct and point-blank compliment you on your attractiveness.
Each woman is different, but you’ll know a woman is being seduced by you when she makes it easy for you to sleep with her.
You will still have to make the move, but if you have seduced her, she will be excited when you finally do make that move (as opposed to hesitant).
What Makes A Man Seductive?
If you want to know how to seduce her, you must know how to be a source of value to her. We only chase that which has value to us.
To an extent, what has value is personal. Every woman wants different things. To a traditional, conservative girl, stability has a lot of value. To a more adventurous, liberal girl, spontaneity will have much more value than stability.
Although each woman is different, there are some traits that are almost universally attractive. It will benefit any man to cultivate these traits in their own life.
Fun is a drug everyone wants more of.
Why do people go to clubs? To have fun. Why do people go to concerts? To have fun. Why do people play video games? To have fun. And the list goes on and on.
Pretty much everything we do voluntarily, we do for the sake of fun.
If being around you is fun, then your personality will be seductive.
At its core, fun is about not taking things seriously. Most men take dating very seriously. If they end up sleeping with the girl they like, they’ve “won,” and if they don’t, they’ve “lost”.
Guys often see dating as a chore as opposed to something that should be done for its own enjoyment.
Men try to act suave and cool around women. Little do they know women are most attracted to the guys that don’t give a shit about whether they seem cool.
Everyone has a fun side. You have a fun side. As soon as you stop caring whether a girl likes you, and you just interact with her because you enjoy it, you’ll be able to have fun with her.
You don’t have to try to be fun, you will be fun when you stop trying to make a certain impression. Fun is natural, children have tons of fun interacting with each other, but when they grow up they stop expressing themselves naturally.
If fun is particular challenge for you, try making fun of yourself. Tell embarrassing stories that you think people will judge you for. Even better, go to a club and dance like a moron on purpose.
For some guys, their fun side is deeply buried, and in that case the best way to bring it out is to intentionally make a fool of yourself. Doing so will force you to let go for a moment which will help you realize that what people think about you doesn’t matter.
Most social interactions are very surface level. When someone is real – when someone isn’t wearing a mask – we can feel it, and we are attracted to that realness.
What makes someone fake? The desire to be perceived in a certain way.
Total realness means total acceptance of what people think about you: it means letting the chips fall where they may.
We’re fake when we focus on the outcome we want. I remember consciously trying to talk in a deeper voice because I wanted people to think I was cool, that was me being fake. I remember bragging about my sexual experiences to seem attractive, that was me being fake.
How do you become more real? By accepting your quirks. The things that you think are embarrassing or unattractive about yourself are probably the parts of you that are the most human and relatable.
I used to think my nerdiness would turn girls off. I made a point to hide my interest in video games, sci-fi, and the like from women.
Eventually I stopped caring, and I found that talking about these kinds of things would get girls to talk about their own nerdy interests, which would give us something to connect over.
The parts of my personality that I thought would turn girls off, made me more attractive. You may be shocked to find that the same is true for you.
Wrapping Up How to Seduce Her
When you embody the traits I outlined in this article, seduction will occur naturally. You will still need to lean in to kiss her at some point, but she will be excited for that to happen. She will make it as easy as possible to sleep with her.
Learning how to seduce her is about becoming seductive. And yes, getting in better shape, improving your style, etc. will all help – but the most seductive quality a person can have is a fun, real personality.
–Follow me on Snapchat to see daily infield footage (approaches, makeouts, pulls) Username: AveryGHayden
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