If you can arouse a woman, she will be overwhelmed by a primal desire to sleep with you. Master the art of arousing women with your behavior, and you will become irresistibly seductive.
Unfortunately, most men act as if arousal is something that only happens to a woman when she’s naked in your bed.
This couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, if you don’t learn how to arouse a woman in casual conversation, you’re probably not going to get her into your bed.
But when you do learn how to arouse a girl in conversation, she won’t be able to resist her longing to be with you. Read this article to learn how to arouse a girl anytime, anywhere.
How To Arouse A Girl Part 1:
Psychologists have conducted multiple studies1 in which they found that when opposite-sex strangers hold strong eye contact with each other, they experience deep feelings of arousal -and even love- for each other(1).
In one such study, not only did participants experience feelings of arousal for each other, but two of the participants (who were complete strangers) ended up getting married after the study.
The power of eye contact is subtle, yet far-reaching. Good eye contact will make women not only perceive you as more confident, but it can even cause them to experience sexual arousal for you.
Good eye contact cannot be faked. You can try to force yourself to hold eye-contact with a girl, but if doing so makes you uncomfortable, she’ll notice the tension around your eyes (and your eye contact won’t be a turn-on).
There’s no easy solution, you’re going to have to fake it ‘till you make it. The easiest way to practice making strong eye-contact is through a simple exercise I developed:
Exercise- How to Make Stronger Eye Contact
Whenever you’re in a public area with a lot of women, do this: make eye contact with women as they cross your path. Count to three in your head, if she doesn’t look back at you in that time, look away (so as to avoid staring). If she does look back at you, hold eye-contact until just after she looks away.
BTW: Make sure to have a slight smile while practicing holding eye contact with women (otherwise you can look intimidating).
Once you get comfortable practicing your eye contact with passerby, you can start to practice with women you approach and have conversations with. Just remember, as a guideline, when she looks away, you should look away too.
At first, this might be a bit uncomfortable. That’s okay, your discomfort will fade with practice. The end result is worth it. Once you get used to holding strong eye contact with women, they will feel a deep arousal for you – regardless of what you say.
(Btw, In The Trial you can find a third exercise for practicing eye contact that you can do from the comfort of your home.)
How To Arouse A Girl Part 2:
Unsurprisingly, physical touch can trigger sexual arousal in a woman. But there is an important caveat, it’s only touch that she’s comfortable with that will arouse her.
The more attracted a girl is to you, the more likely she is to be comfortable with your physicality. Beyond that, if you want your touch to arouse a girl, escalate your physicality gradually.
The first place you can use physicality to your advantage is when you shake hands with a girl. Hold her hand a bit longer than usual to create some sexual tension (while simultaneously making her comfortable with your touch).
Then, you can touch her shoulder when she says something you like.
So long as she is comfortable with that, you can escalate further by holding her hand when you move from one place to the next.
As you escalate your physicality, she will become increasingly aroused by your touch.
But there is one nuance to touching a girl I want to share with you that makes all the difference:
Be the first to touch her, but also be the first to step back.
Say you’re making out with a girl in a club. You think it’s on, so you keep making out as long as possible, because the more you make out with her, the more turned on she’ll be, right?
Physical touch can arouse a girl, but if the guy never takes a step back, it can turn her off.
Women don’t want a guy who’s too easy to get, they want a guy they have to work for – someone who’s higher status than she is.
The best way to arouse a girl with touch is to not only initiate physicality, but also to withdraw it.
This indicates that you are a high-status guy who isn’t desperate for the girl, you’re in control, you don’t need to chase her because you know she’s going to chase you.
Sure, make out with her, but make sure that you’re the one who backs off first. Sure, hold her, but take a step back first, give her a reason to chase you.
Doing this will make you the rare guy who truly arouses women with physical touch, even outside of the bedroom.
How To Arouse A Girl Part 3:
Dominance, in all its forms, causes women to experience psychological arousal.
When a man has enough self-confidence to behave dominantly, women can’t help but feel that he is an alpha-male.
Women experience this unconsciously because our brain evolved over millions of years of evolution.
The modern woman still has a brain that developed eons ago, when we lived in small tribes of 50-150 people.
And guess what, women couldn’t help but want to fuck alpha-males. Women want to have children whose genes would help them survive in a dangerous environment. Who had the best genes for that purpose? Alpha-males.
Women still want to fuck alpha-males, and the biggest differentiator between an alpha-male and a beta-male is his level of dominance.
In our evolutionary past, a beta-male would never take a leadership role or assert himself in any way. Because if he did, the alpha-males of the tribe would bash his skull in.
Fortunately, you can take advantage of this evolutionary program that still exists in the brains of modern women. Put simply, act dominantly, and a woman will feel that you are an alpha-male.
In today’s culture, acting dominant won’t get you killed, so you can use dominance to make women unconsciously assume that you must be an alpha-male (and therefore feel arousal for you).
The simplest way to use dominance in your favor is through leading. For example, if you meet a girl at a bar, after you’ve talked with her for a few minutes, lead her outdoors for a breath of fresh air.
Once you’ve spoken with her outdoors for a bit, lead her to the dance floor. Then, take her to a nearby bar. Continue this pattern – until you finally lead her to your place.
When moving her to another location, phrase it something like this, “Hey, let’s get some fresh air.” Or, “Let’s check out the dance floor.” Essentially, you’re being dominant without being forceful.
The simple fact that you’re assertive enough to move her from one location to another is showing the girl that you are dominant, that you are a leader. As a result, she will unconsciously feel that you must be an alpha-male.
Dominance takes other forms, too. You can show dominance in conversation by being willing to disagree with a girl.
If a girl’s attractive, most guys will meekly agree with anything she says. Guys do this because they don’t want to create tension with the girl. Ironically, a willingness to create tension is actually an arousal trigger for women.
If a man disagrees with a woman, he’s showing that he values his own opinions enough to stand up for himself. In other words, he’s showing that he’s not a submissive beta-male.
So, when a girl starts complaining about her co-workers, or states an opinion that you disagree with, or does anything that you don’t like: express your disagreement freely. Tell her that you think she’s wrong or that you don’t like what she’s saying.
Counterintuitively, this can arouse her because it shows that you aren’t a pushover beta-male that has no authority.
Wrapping Up How To Arouse A Girl
Strong eye-contact, physical touch, and dominance will all help spark sexual arousal in the women you meet.
Most guys fail to implement any one of these three techniques. If you consistently use all three, you will be one of the few guys who women can’t control themselves around.
Remember though, if you want to arouse a girl, the first step is to make her comfortable around you. If she can’t trust you, she’ll put up a wall.
This is because women are physically weaker than men. If women hooked up with every guy that made strong eye-contact with them, they’d be constantly exposing themselves to physical danger.
You can check out this article and this article to learn more about making women comfortable in your presence. Or, if you want a complete guide to making women feel a deep sense of connection with you, read The Trial.
Once you’ve established comfort, the arousal triggers you’ve learned about in this article will make seduction easy. Because she will want you so badly that she will seduce you.
- Mutual gaze and attraction: attraction: Huston, T. L., and Levinger, G. (1978). “Interpersonal Attraction and Relationships,” Annual Review of Psychology 29:115–56.
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