How to Make Girls Chase You (With the Art of Hot and Cold)
When you’re chasing a girl, the dynamic is roughly equivalent to that of a kiosk salesman trying to sell their wares to strangers passing by.
When a girl is chasing you, the dynamic is roughly equivalent to that of her going to pick up the newest book by her favorite author.
The kiosk salesmen will get sales, but he will get rejected far more often than not.
The girl buying the new book by her favorite author is going to get the book no matter what because she’s already decided she wants it.
People are infinitely more bought into their own ideas than the ideas that someone tries to force onto them.
A kiosk salesman is like a pushy guy who chases a girl. He’s trying to force an idea onto someone- and that’s going to be met with resistance.
When you learn to make girls chase you, however, there will be no resistance. And the process of seduction will unfold completely naturally. Read this article to learn how to stop being a guy who tries to force women to like him and become a guy who lets women seduce him.
How I Learned to Make Women Chase Me
About two years ago, I realized that I didn’t need to ‘close’ women anymore because they were closing me.
Girls started telling me things like:
- “Would you like to get a drink at my place?”
- “We probably shouldn’t be left in a room together, should we?
- “Come meet me in the alley behind the bar, I want to show you something. . .”
This was happening because I had figured out how to reverse the traditional roles in dating. Beautiful women are used to being pursued by men, but I flipped the dynamic on its head.
How to Make Girls Chase You
When you approach a girl, you are technically chasing her. However, you can easily change this dynamic as the interaction begins to unfold.
When getting a girl to chase you, the key is to create a sense of mystery about whether you’re interested in her. Send mixed signals – yes and no, hot and cold, push and pull – to make her wonder what you’re really thinking.
Lots of guys who learn pickup are good at one of these or the other.
I’ve met plenty of guys who are good at sending ‘yes’ signals. They’ll tell the girl she’s beautiful, be very physical, and give her constant positive reinforcement.
This is flattering for the girl, and it can even arouse her if done well, but it also makes her just a bit defensive.
You’re making it clear that you want to sleep with her, and this makes her think things like:
- “He just wants to fuck me and never talk to me again.”
- “He just likes me for my looks, he doesn’t care about who I am as a person.”
Although she’s turned on by your confidence and directness, she’s likely to feel like you’re a player who just wants her for sex.
I’ve also met plenty of guys who are good at sending ‘no’ signals. These guys will tease girls and challenge them constantly.
This is worse than only sending ‘yes’ signals, because being challenging without giving the girl any positive validation just makes her think you’re a dick.
She might think you’re funny for a bit, but if you’re constantly being cold, the girl won’t feel good around you, so she’ll lose interest in you.
It’s the balance of hot and cold – yes and no – that makes a girl start to chase you.
Hot and Cold
The key to hot and cold is that it should be done subtly. She shouldn’t be able to tell that you’re doing something out of the ordinary.
A typical PUA in training learning hot and cold will say things like, “I love you,” followed shortly by, “I hate you.” This is too extreme to be truly effective*.
Effective use of hot and cold doesn’t require you to say anything at all. You don’t have to say she’s beautiful, and you also don’t have to “neg” her.
(In fact, it’s generally best to avoid direct compliments about a girl’s beauty because that makes it too obvious that you’re sexually interested in the girl. It’s better to compliment things like her style or her personality because those things will validate her without making her question your intentions.)
To use hot and cold, vary your own levels of investment in your interaction with a girl. One moment you seem very interested and bought in, the next you’re aloof and perhaps even a little unengaged.
When she tells you about her favorite book, you’re engaged. You ask further questions and you compliment her on her taste.
Then, when she tells you about her job, you’re not so interested. You ask her why she choose that job? You don’t ask so many questions, and you change the subject to something more interesting.
One minute, you’re making strong eye contact with her and holding her waist. The next, you take a step back and break physical contact with her while looking around at the people in the club, and you even make a point to comment on how one of the girls is wearing a great outfit.
Do this well, and whenever you’re ‘hot’ (investing in the interaction) the girl will build rapport with you, and each time you’re cold (taking away investment), she’ll start to chase you- because she wants the validation she was getting from you, back.
It’s important that the underlying frame when using hot and cold is playfulness. You’re not doing it to be mean, you’re not even doing it to make her like you, you’re doing it because it’s fun. It’s called “game” for a reason, after all.
Hot and cold creates a sense of intrigue for the girl. By being unpredictable, you’re giving the girl an opportunity to chase you. One moment she thinks you like her, the next, she’s not so sure.
This allows her to buy into the idea that she wants you, and the dynamic shifts from you being like a kiosk salesman begging for a sale to that of you being like the best-selling author who’s fan is clamoring to buy his newest book.
Hot and cold takes practice. When you first start using the technique, you might do too much of one and not enough the other. This is okay, it’s part of the learning process, and the ultimate results are worth it.
You can judge how well you’re implementing hot and cold by the reactions girls’ give you. If, for example, they get offended, that’s a sign your using too much cold. If , on the other hand, they respond positively initially, but you have to chase them to keep the interaction going, you’re probably using too much hot.
You’ll know you’re doing well with hot and cold when girls start doing things like:
- Ask you for your number.
- Hint at the idea of you and her spending time somewhere in private.
- Make blatant sexual comments about you.
- Ditch their friends for you.
- Make excuses to keep hanging out with you.
- Proactively hit you up to hang out over text.
Conclusion- How to Make Girls Chase You
Hot and cold may sound too good to be true, but it really does work. It’s not a magic pill, though. It does take practice to get it down to the point where you’re getting girls to chase you tenaciously.
If you feel like you have to do all the work in your dating life, hot and cold is an incredible tool to change this so that girls start actively seducing you.
If you want to learn more about how to make girls chase you, The Seduction Blueprint has a complete section teaching you to make yourself irresistible to women. You’ll learn how to make women feel a deep sense of connection with you, how to make women see you as a lover instead of a friend, and how to give women the sense that they’ve been ‘swept of their feet’ by you.
- It’s an okay way to practice at first, because you can learn what hot and cold feels like with such a method, but you don’t want to rely on such a blunt technique for long.
Get your free book: The Psychology of Seduction
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2. How to use The Pygmalion Effect to make anyone like you
3. A simple psychological trick to prevent women from flaking on you.
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