Best Way To Start A Conversation With A Girl
You know that moment when you see her? You’re out in public and a girl walks by who’s so beautiful that time slows down. At first, you’re excited, perhaps even a little aroused, but then you start to feel anxious, thoughts start running through your mind:
“Wow, she’s hot.”
“Yeah, too hot, way out of my league.”
“I should talk to her, there’s a chance she’ll like me.”
“Yeah, but what would I even say? I don’t want to creep her out by being too direct, and I don’t want to creep her out by saying something random, and I definitely don’t want to creep her out by saying a cheesy pickup line. Fuck it, I’ll talk to her next time I see her.”
Of course, you never see her again. When it comes to success with women, the first thing you need to learn is how to open a conversation up with a girl- whether she’s a complete stranger or someone you have a class with/work with/etc.
In this article, I’m going to give you a few guidelines that will help you start conversations with women in a way that is both:
- not creepy and
- might lead towards something more than a platonic friendship.
Something Is Better Than Nothing
Some advice will tell you to say to approach a girl with something innocuous like, “Hey, where’s somewhere good to eat around here?” You should only ever do this if it makes it easier for you to approach the girl.
What I mean is, if it’s less nerve-wracking to ask a girl for directions than it is to say something more direct, then go for it, it’s not a great way to start a conversation, but if it’s the only way you can get words out of your mouth, it’s better than saying nothing at all.
A lot of guys get approach anxiety, meaning it can feel extremely nerve wracking to go up to a girl and start a conversation, and if you’re one of those guys, you can get comfortable talking to strangers by asking for directions.
But, in terms of actual effectiveness, the best way to start a conversation with a girl is with something much more direct.
My personal favorite ‘line’ to approach with is as follows, “Hey, I saw you and I wanted to tell you I like your style, and I had to meet you really quick .”
Here’s what’s good about the line:
–It’s clear why you’re starting a conversation with her, she made a good first impression and you’re interested in meeting her.
-It’s starting the conversation on a positive note which will most likely make her glad you took a second to talk to her.
-You’re giving her a compliment, but not a sexual compliment. The problem with giving a sexual compliment is it can make a girl feel pressured, thus making her defensive.
-The last two words “real quick” are optional, but they’re a good way to let the girl know that she doesn’t have to worry about you staying past your welcome, this can help her feel more comfortable to talk to you (I’d say the more experienced you are, the less you need to throw in “real quick”.)
There Isn’t One Right Line
I’ve used hundreds of different opening lines to talk to girls, and truthfully, just about anything can work if your delivery is confident and friendly.
Once I approached a girl at a nightclub by saying
Me: Are you from Tennessee?
Her: No, why, because I’m the only ten you see?
Me: Haha, no, because you look like a child of incest.
She recoiled, and shortly after, burst out in laughter. I got her number a couple minutes later. That line is by no means a good line, but because I said it in a carefree way, it was good enough.
The point of having a line in your back-pocket isn’t that the line itself is going to do anything magical, it’s mostly just so you have one less excuse not to approach a girl you like.
What do I mean? Well, if you see a cute girl, but you don’t have any idea what to say, it’s very easy to rationalize that you shouldn’t approach her.
Having a go-to line gets rid of that excuse. The line I shared above isn’t magical, it isn’t going to make a girl instantly attracted to you, but it’s a solid way to start a conversation, and it works for most situations (in a club, your college campus, a mall, etc.).
What To Say After The First Line
Once you’ve opened your mouth, and started talking to an attractive girl, how do you turn that into a real conversation?
This is a problem a lot of guys have, I know I used to. In fact, I was so obsessed with this that I memorized numerous canned routines and made up stories that I could tell a girl after I approached her.
That was mostly silly and unnecessary. The easiest way to turn an opener into a real conversation is just to have a few questions you can ask her.
Here’s four I use often:
-“Are you from here?”
– “What do you do?”
-“Where are you from?”
-“What are you passionate about.”
Again, there’s nothing magical about those questions, but they can open up a conversation. Once she says what she says what she’s passionate about, you can start talking about that passion in more depth.
For example, a conversation might look like:
You: Hey, I saw you and I wanted to say I like your style and I had to meet your really quick.
Her: Really? Thanks.
You: Yeah, anyway, are you from here?
Her: Nope, I’m from California.
Her: San Diego
You: Oh, that’s awesome, I actually went there for Comic Con a couple years back, I’m kind of a nerd, it’s a great city though. The people were friendly, the weather was amazing, and it was just a cool place. What brought you here?
When the girl answers your “basic interview question” you can start to find commonalities and talk about something interesting about her answer.
The above example isn’t anything flashy, but it doesn’t need to be, it’s a normal conversation where you’re starting to get to know a girl, and that’s a good place to start your interaction.
And for most guys, that’s a really good place to start. Yes, once you get more experienced you can learn how to make an unforgettable first impression on a girl, how to create a sense of deep emotional connection in minutes, and how to make a conversation fun and sexual. But the first step is to be able to have a normal, comfortable conversation with a girl you havne’t met before, and once you’ve mastered that, then you can worry about the flashier stuff.
So, to wrap up, starting a conversation with a girl is much simpler than you might think. You can use any line and make it work, but it’s good to have a line in your back-pocket (like the one I provided earlier) so that you don’t freeze because you don’t know what to say.
Once you’ve got the first line out of the way, the easiest way to start a conversation is simply to ask normal biographical questions and then to dive deeper into those topics and connect over them.
And that’s the best way to start a conversation with a girl, simple as that.Follow me on Snapchat to see daily infield footage (approaches, makeouts, pulls) Username: AveryGHayden
Get your free book: The Psychology of Seduction
Learn how to use proven psychological principles to attract women. In this book, you will learn:
1. How to increase your value using the power of scarcity.
2. How to use The Pygmalion Effect to make anyone like you
3. A simple psychological trick to prevent women from flaking on you.
4. And much more.
Thank you for subscribing.
Something went wrong.