“If somebody never gets enough of you, they will always want more.” -Ashly Lorenzana
Anything that is totally abundant has minimal value. Water is a fantastic example of this. To you, water has little value: you’re not likely to weep with joy when water pours from your sink or showerhead. You have unlimited access to water at a low cost. Yet, for the billion impoverished people who have limited access to clean water, it is a precious resource. For them, water is blue gold.
Imagine water suddenly became unavailable where you lived. Suddenly, water would be a scarce resource. Within several days there would be riots on the streets, people would do anything for water, they would kill for it. Water would be the single most valuable resource in the world.
Scarcity is like a volume knob for value. The less available something becomes, the more value it gains. Scarcity applies not only to products, but to people as well. In dating, you are the resource. You are a potential source of value; you can provide a woman with value through positive emotions, validation, sexual pleasure, friendship, laughter, etc.
The more value you represent to a girl, the more interested she will be in your company (not just sexually, but in general). If the value you offer a woman becomes a scarce resource, the volume knob turns up, and your value is magnified.
To be clear, scarcity doesn’t give you value, it only increases or decreases the value you already have (if you have no value in the first place, scarcity won’t help you. In this case, you must focus on reciprocation and liking before creating scarcity).
However, once a girl feels that you have some value to offer, you can use scarcity in your favor. Making her doubt that you are interested in her company (socially or sexually) will increase your value (from her perspective). Simply, the positive feelings you offer a girl are worth more if she thinks she might lose access to them.
Flip The Script
By default, scarcity works in a woman’s favor, men chase her, not the other way around. Yet, if you use the principle effectively, you are flipping the dynamic on its head.
Once you’ve established that you represent a source of value to a girl, a simple way to leverage the scarcity principle is to retract that value by letting a lull in the conversation hang. After a conversational thread wraps up, resist the urge to start a new topic, let the silence persist (while holding eye contact). She will feel an emotional urge to get back the good emotions that your conversation was providing her. She will restart the conversation herself within a few seconds, only now, she will have a sense that you might not be as interested in her as she previously thought.
In fact, a lot of ‘game’ tactics are only effective because they use the scarcity principle. For example, disqualifying yourself by telling a girl something like, “You’re like the sister I never had, it’s so adorable!” will make her doubt if you are sexually available to her. If you had any sexual value in her eyes, this will increase her interest.
To be clear, creating value with scarcity isn’t as easy as using a couple techniques. The above strategies are useful because they help you emotionally understand how scarcity works in dating, but, ultimately, scarcity is created through the overall impression you make. To get the most from this principle, you’ll have to actually be willing to leave a woman to your interacting with. She will be able to sense this (through your subcommunications) and it will make her doubt whether you’re interested in her.
This will take time to develop. But, if you make a habit of using techniques like those I mentioned above in all your interactions, you will start to get an emotional feel for how scarcity plays out. You’ll start to notice that when you pull back, she starts to feel a need to pursue you (because your value has increased). Over time, you’ll understand on an intuitive level how to make a girl feel a sense of doubt about your interest in her without needing to use specific techniques. This intuitive understanding will dramatically shift the dynamic of your interactions with women- in your favor.
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1. How to increase your value using the power of scarcity.
2. How to use The Pygmalion Effect to make anyone like you
3. A simple psychological trick to prevent women from flaking on you.
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