“I believe that present day civilized man suffers from insufficient discharge of his aggressive drive.” –Konrad Lorenz

 

Traits like authoritativeness and aggression are looked at as things to be ashamed of and to avoid at all costs. This isn’t arbitrary, traditionally masculine traits can be damaging in certain contexts. Unfortunately, cultural values don’t appreciate nuance, and while in some contexts authoritativeness and aggression are damaging, in others, they are beneficial, even essential. In male to female sexual interactions, for example, sexual attraction is often sparked through a man’s aggressiveness and assertiveness.

This is problematic, we are taught our entire lives to be people pleasers, to be nice, to be agreeable, and to wait for permission. But this attitude kills sexual attraction. There’s no better way to kill sexual tension then to ask a woman for permission to kiss her or to ask to take off her clothes.

One of women’s biggest turn-ons (in general) is to be swept off their feet, ravished, taken: by a man who loses control of himself because of his desire for her [Meston, Cindy M.; Buss, David Why Women Have Sex: Understanding Sexual Motivations from Adventure to Revenge (and Everything in Between)(pg. 208.)]. This man is, by definition, acting aggressively. He doesn’t wait for permission, he assumes it.

Navigating this can be tricky because it is possible to be a creep. It is totally possible to go over the line by not respecting a woman’s desires.

The best solution to this conundrum is to assume the answer is yes until you get some indication that it is not. If a girl says ‘no’ or shows any sign of discomfort, take a step back and show her that you respect how she feels. But don’t avoid making a move because she might say no, make the move and take a step back if you get a no.

This attitude allows you to act in a dominant way without risking doing anything out of line. It allows you to act dominantly in a way that is a turn-on for women, without being a creep.

Additionally, acknowledging a girl’s discomfort can build attraction. It shows that you are empathetic to her needs and helps her be comfortable with you sexually. Understand that for women, comfort is hugely important in a sexual interaction because men are generally physically stronger: for a woman, sex is dangerous in a way that it isn’t for men. So, while taking a step back when a girl feels uncomfortable might seem like a rejection, it’s often the very thing that helps make her comfortable enough to trust you enough to have sex with you after that ‘rejection’.

Dominance does mean making bold sexual moves, but it also includes several other important components. Dominance in your interactions means you must lead interactions with women on several levels: 1. Conversationally 2. In terms of location and 3. By making the interaction man-to-woman.

Part 2 of the series can be found: here.

Follow me on Snapchat to see daily infield footage (approaches, makeouts, pulls) Username: AveryGHayden

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Get your free book: The Psychology of Seduction

Learn how to use proven psychological principles to attract women. In this book, you will learn:
1. How to increase your value using the power of scarcity.
2. How to use The Pygmalion Effect to make anyone like you
3. A simple psychological trick to prevent women from flaking on you.
4. And much more.

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