This article will be useful to you if:
- You want to know what women really want and how to give it to them.
- You’re good at interacting with women as friends, but there isn’t always strong sexual tension.
- You’ve wondered why women like ‘assholes’ (and how you can have the same effect on women without being an asshole)
How To Make Her Want You Sexually
You can make nearly any woman want you, feel a magnetic attraction for you, and even experience a deeply erotic desire to be with you. But to harness this seductive power in your own life, you must first understand that most of what we learn about women and sexual desire is misleading, if not flat out wrong.
Let’s Just Be Friends
In my junior year of high school, my crush handed me a drawing and said, “Let this be a token of our friendship. You’re a really good friend and I value our time together.”
All I heard was, “Let this be a token of your place in the friend zone. You’re really fun to get validation from but you’re a little bitch who will never, ever have sex with me.”
Why did my high school crush make a point to put me in the friend zone? Because I didn’t understand that sexual attraction is a scientific process; I thought it was something mysterious, almost magical. I thought destiny would bring me a romantic connection when the time was right.
I wasn’t alone in my deluded, mystical thinking; most men never receive a proper education about female sexuality. And as a result, we learn about dating from Disney movies and empty colloquialisms like, “Just be yourself.”
The Truth is Politically Incorrect
Until you understand the secret truth about female sexuality, you will make the same dating mistakes repeatedly, and like a hamster stuck in a wheel, you will exhaust yourself without making any real progress.
Through Disney movies, Romantic Comedies, Valentine’s Day, Marriage, and other cultural norms, modern society has created a narrative that sex and romance is not only beautiful, but it’s something that ‘just happens’.
That couldn’t be further from the truth, sexual attraction is actually quite mechanical. Women are biological creatures with predictable sexual drives. The truth isn’t pretty or poetic, but it is liberating. Understanding it will allow you to leverage it for you own gain. Then, if you press the right buttons, you can trigger sexual desire in nearly any woman.
Two of these buttons are particularly powerful, and if you press them, you will make her want you, no matter who she is.
Be a Source of Value
Sure, you can represent a source of value to a woman by the traditional means of being physically attractive or having high-social status. However, even if you don’t have these external advantages, you can still be a source of value. All you must do is make her feel strong emotions when she’s around you.
To accomplish this, change the focus in your conversations with women from the logical content of what you’re saying (which is what men tend to focus on), to the emotional effect your words are having.1
When most guys interact with girls, they’re just exchanging information. When attractive guys interact with girls, they’re exchanging emotions. Information turns women as effectively as algebraic equations, strong emotions on the other hand, are as addictive to women as crack cocaine.
How to Make Women Feel Strong Emotions
You can learn to shift your focus to the emotional content of interactions with women by throwing the following two phrases into your conversations, “I hate,” and, “I love”.
For example, if she says she’s from L.A., you can say, “You’re from L.A.? I hate L.A., you’re not one of those fake L.A. girls, are you?” conversely, you could say, “You’re from L.A.! I love L.A., this place must seem like a shithole in comparison.”
Either of these responses has polarized emotional content, positive or negative. Either phrase would help take your conversation from a logical exchange of ideas to an intuitive exchange of emotions.
Now, you might think that you should avoid negative emotions in your interactions with women, but there’s an important nuance to understand here. Women are intrigued by feeling a variety of strong emotions, if your conversations just hit one note, even if it’s a good note, it will get boring. Your interactions will be far more interesting for women if you hit a variety of notes, it makes you seem mysterious and unpredictable. It makes you a source of emotional value.
(Now, to be clear, you don’t want to be mean or antagonistic, anything you say that is ‘negative’, should be said with a smile on your face. You’re teasing her, flirting with her. There’s a difference in being challenging and in being cruel.)
To illustrate this point, think of movies. If an entire film were fun and positive, the movie would be terribly boring. But, when a movie has an unpredictable mixture of conflicts and resolutions, ups and downs, you become intrigued and get invested in the story.
The same concept applies to your conversations with women. Interactions with you should feel like an emotional roller coaster, like a good movie. This will cause her to see you as a source of emotional value.
Start focusing on how what you say makes women feel, and evoke strong emotions in her. By making her feel a variety of powerful emotions, she will get hooked to the feelings you give her, just like she gets hooked to an addictive Netflix series.
Make Yourself Scarce
In psychology, there’s a powerful principle called scarcity. Put simply, it means that the less available something is, the more value it has.
Think of water, for example. In the first world, water is readily available, and therefore, has little value. However, imagine that your city suddenly ran out of water. As soon as this happened, water would become a precious resource, blue gold. People would do literally anything to get access to some water if it became scarce enough (think Mad Max Fury Road).
Scarcity applies to anything of value, and dating is no exception. If a girl is confident that she can have you whenever she wants, she will take you for granted. This is why nice guys are so unattractive to women, they make themselves 100% available, and do everything in their power to make that as obvious as possible.
What ‘Assholes’ Do Right
If you make yourself scarce, women will perceive you as having higher value. It’s a quirk of human psychology, a button you can press.
Why do you think ‘assholes’ are so attractive to women? Because they don’t make themselves too available. ‘Assholes’ don’t care if women like them or not, and they’re willing to walk away from a girl at any point. Women can sense this, and it makes them chase these guys, and even obsess over them.
Here’s a few ways you can make yourself scarce:
- If you get caught up on a girl who you have a crush on, make a point to get ten other girls’ phone numbers. You may be surprised to find that as soon as you start considering other options, the dynamic will shift and your crush will start chasing you.
- Flip the script, tell her that you value her Or, tell her she’s like the sister you never had. Make her doubt your attraction for her, and she will start to want sexual validation from you.
- Set boundaries. If she says something annoying, tell her she said something annoying. If she complains and you don’t want to hear it, tell her you’re not interested in her complaints.
This is extremely powerful, because most guys accept what a woman they like does and says unconditionally (especially if she’s hot).
If you give her the sense that if she doesn’t act according to your standards, you might walk away, she will start trying to impress you. She will seek your validation, because unlike other guys, you don’t give her unconditional acceptance just because she looks pretty.
An important caveat: making yourself scarce is a very powerful volume knob to increase your perceived value, but it doesn’t work unless you have some value to her in the first place. If she just thinks of you as a random guy, or doesn’t care about you whatsoever, scarcity won’t be effective. If scarcity isn’t working for you, focus on making girls perceive you as a source of value, first.
Wrapping Up How To Make Her Want You Sexually
Creating sexual attraction isn’t complicated, and it isn’t mysterious. It’s a matter of pressing the right psychological buttons, and although not every man can offer a woman superior genetics and wealth, any man can create attraction by becoming a powerful source of emotional value to a woman.
I know this as well as any man, because until I turned nineteen, every girl I liked relegated me to the friend zone. Since then, I learned that sexual attraction is triggered by repeatable behaviors, and that by exploiting those behaviors, I could make nearly any woman want me.
Of course, this isn’t a skill that can be mastered overnight, but it is a skill, and it can be mastered.
PS: If you really want to get your dating life handled, you can check out the complete guide to transform your dating life: The Trial: Transform Your Dating Life In Eight Weeks.Follow me on Snapchat to see daily infield footage (approaches, makeouts, pulls) Username: AveryGHayden
Get your free book: The Psychology of Seduction
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1. How to increase your value using the power of scarcity.
2. How to use The Pygmalion Effect to make anyone like you
3. A simple psychological trick to prevent women from flaking on you.
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