Reality Check: Less than 1% of the guys who I’ve gone out with are getting the results they want. Few get any tangible results, and those who do are pulling mediocre girls.
To be an exception to this trend you must understand the two major requirements to make steady progress in any skill.
1: Consistently practice the skill in a way that risks failure.
2: Learn from your mistakes effectively.
If you don’t master both of these principles, your efforts to improve your dating life will be in vain. But if you do, your results will skyrocket and you will get to be among the 1% of guys who get impressive results from cold approach pickup.
“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently”- Henry Ford
The faster and harder you fail the more opportunities to learn you’ll have. Unless you’re actually getting rejected, any pickup advice is entirely theoretical.
Baron de Montesquieu put it like this, “A really intelligent man feels what other men only know.” Each rejection you get teaches you a visceral, real, lesson, and if you want to get amazing results in pickup, you should strive to fail more than anyone else.
On a basic level, failure in pickup means getting rejected by a woman, but there’s an important distinction that needs to be made. If you are ejecting from sets when you are uncomfortable, or when an interaction is not going particularly, well, you’re severely limiting what you could be learning.
The most educational failure in pickup occurs when you stay in an interaction until a girl leaves. I see it every night, guys who reject themselves by ejecting from interactions that were going perfectly fine. If you really want to make progress; fail harder, be persistent, don’t eject from any interactions, and stay until she leaves. (Important note, if you don’t like the girl, then obviously, you should be the one to eject.)
Learn from Your Failures
Any given night I may get as many as 10 rejections. Most guys would see this as a soul crushing defeat. But it’s not, because each night I write a field report in which I analyze those failures, I write about why I got those rejections.
I start to notice patterns, for example at one point I was great at sparking attraction with girls but I was afraid to move things forward. After about five minutes the interactions would fizzle out, and I would be pissed off because a girl who liked me at first would end up saying, “Have a nice night,” while patting my shoulder.
I noticed this in my field reports, and adjusted course. After I built the initial spark of attraction, I started inviting girls to dance or to meet my friends. This helped build forward momentum in interactions that would have previously petered out because of my hesitance. My results improved dramatically because of this simple adjustment.
If you’re not getting the results you want; you are making a lot of mistakes, and that’s fine. Everyone makes a lot of mistakes, but what people rarely do is objectively analyze those mistakes and take responsibility for them.
Maybe you’re too needy in your interactions and you need to learn to make women chase, maybe you need to learn to deal with logistics more proactively, or maybe you need to split up from your friends and do more approaches.
You’re not going to be able to think about these lessons while you’re out, you have too much else to focus on. To learn these lessons, you must write a field report to reflect on what happened on a given night and analyze your mistakes objectively.
As you become aware of the mistakes you’re making, you will be able to adjust course.
In the cities I’ve gone out in, most of the guys I’ve met are beating their heads against a wall. They repeat the same patterns again and again month after month. One guy I know only pulls unattractive women, another reeks of desperation in every interaction, a third is always in such a serious mood that it consistently turns off girls.
They’ve been making these mistakes for months and in some cases years.
I can’t speak for the people you go out with, but this is a pattern that’s shockingly consistent among the men I’ve winged with.
These men could have corrected these deficiencies in a matter of days with proper objective self-analysis, but instead they’re running on a progress treadmill; they take action, but they keep taking the same actions and making the same mistakes.
Be an exception to this trend. Push yourself to fail hard and fail often. Then, learn from those failures by objectively analyzing yourself with field reports.Follow me on Snapchat to see daily infield footage (approaches, makeouts, pulls) Username: AveryGHayden
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